(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
POLICEMAN: Okay.
So let me get this straight.
You're saying you were on
Hampstead Heath at 23:07, alone,
walking your dog.
That is correct.
And for no reason, you were attacked.
Yup.
But you don't want to press charges.
I just don't want the bother,
and he'll be long gone by now.
- Did you see your assailant?
- Only the back of his head
As he was running away.
Okay.
Well now that's all cleared up,
I'm assuming we're free to leave.
(DOG PANTING)
Thanks you, Robyn.
I didn't
know who else to call.
It's all right.
What am I supposed to do with this?
Feed it twice a day.
Take it for nice, long walks.
Treat it to the occasional bone.
But I don't want a dog!
If you'd like to go back in there
and change your statement,
you're more than welcome.
(SIGHS)
All right, his name is Lumpy and you
might want to get that eye looked at.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Come on, Lumpy.
(DOG WHIMPERING)
RUTH: It's my birthday
and I am going to party.
Ow!
(GRUNTS)
Sorry, Teddy is getting really bite-y.
Honestly, my nipples are a mess.
You know those machines
they have at the pier?
The ones that flatten pennies?
It feels like my nipples have gone
through one of those machines.
(GIGGLING)
- Don't laugh.
I'm not kidding.
- I'm sorry.
Seriously, go enjoy your titties
while they're yours.
These days
Mine are either juice boxes for the
kids or Mark is grabbing at them
like he's testing avocados.
Speaking of which, how's that going?
Are you guys still trying?
Sorry, was that a bad thing to say?
No, not at all.
Yes, we're trying.
It's just taking a while.
Honestly.
That is for the best.
I'm not kidding.
Mark barely had to breathe on
my vagina, and I was pregnant,
I'm not complaining but, you know,
a warning shot would've been nice.
Fertile son of a Ow!
(GRUNTING) God damn it!
I have got to put the baby down now.
Do you want me to call you back?
No.
Go.
Sleep.
I love you.
Love you.
Bye.
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(MOANING ON VIDEO)
(CLICKS) (VIDEO CONTINUES PLAYING)
(DOOR UNLOCKING)
(THUDS)
SAM: Oh, fuck!
ROBYN: Turn the light on, babe.
(WHISPERS) Sorry.
How was your night?
Fantastic.
Tramp took
a shit in the corridor.
Dairy protest?
No, protest is a bit
sophisticated for what I saw.
Brought this back.
Like, go in and get checked, you know.
Rule things out.
Have a read.
Interesting moment at work today.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Tabitha, the new junior nurses'
assistant, tried to have sex with me.
I'm sorry.
What?
Mmm-hmm.
I know what you're thinking
but she's not fat or
hairy or mentally ill.
She's actually pretty fit.
Looks like a slightly
less toothy Billie Piper.
Okay.
Yeah, proper pass.
Asked
me for a lift home
and everything.
It was a slam dunk.
Great.
What did you do?
Fucked her.
(LAUGHS)
I'm kidding! I told her I
have a lovely girlfriend
waiting for me at home, of course.
(KISSES)
Great story.
Someone jealous?
Just not sure why you're telling me.
I don't know.
I thought it was funny.
Don't you wanna know how
desirable your boyfriend is?
Not really.
Do you wanna know about
all the men who try to fuck me?
Wow.
Christ, okay.
Don't know
what's gone up your arse.
Just not sure what point you're making.
Do want a medal for not cheating on me?
No, of course not, I just
Okay, sorry if I misjudged it, it
wasn't meant to be a big deal.
Then, why'd you tell me?
I don't know, it was just it was
on my mind and I thought it was
Oh, well, forget it, forget it.
Forgive me for sharing.
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALARM BEEPING)
Ha.
You came back.
- You noticed.
- Huh.
I don't know if it was the coke
or your Uber driver ruining
Simon's hand job story,
but wow, you definitely
made an impression.
Yeah, I feel awful about that.
No, don't.
He's got
a million stories like that.
Last week, he was telling this one about
getting rimmed in Nando's by a post man.
Absolute classic.
The guy has
been married eleven years.
- Do you want a drag?
- No.
Yeah.
Trying to quit.
Ah, Vogues.
Classy.
Makes me feel like
a fat fingered Audrey Hepburn.
Oh, God.
I'm Tom, by the way.
Robyn.
Like the super hero?
Sidekick.
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