神偷奶爸 Despicable Me (2010)【完整台词】

{\pos(289,275)}NASA isn't sending
the monkeys anymore.

{\pos(289,275)}Hey.

{\pos(289,275)}I'm applying
for a new villain loan.
Go by the name of Vector.

{\pos(289,275)}It's a mathematical term,

{\pos(289,275)}a quantity represented
by an arrow, with both
direction and magnitude.

{\pos(289,275)}Vector! That's me,

{\pos(289,275)}'cause I'm committing
crimes with both
direction and magnitude.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh, yeah!

{\pos(289,275)}Check out
my new weapon.

{\pos(289,275)}Piranha gun! Oh, yes!

{\pos(289,275)}Fires live piranhas.
Ever seen one before?

{\pos(289,275)}No, you haven't.
I invented it.

{\pos(289,275)}Do you want
a demonstration?

{\pos(289,275)}Oh! Shoot!
So difficult,
sometimes,

{\pos(289,275)}to get the piranha
back inside of my...
(EXCLAIMS)

{\pos(289,275)}RECEPTIONIST: Mr. Gru,
Mr. Perkins will see you now.

{\pos(289,275)}GRU: So, all I need

{\pos(289,275)}is money from the bank
to build a rocket.

{\pos(289,275)}And then,
the moon is ours.
Wow!

{\pos(289,275)}Well, very nice
presentation.

{\pos(289,275)}I'd like to see
this shrink ray.

{\pos(289,275)}Absolutely! Will do.

{\pos(289,275)}(SOFTLY)
Soon as I have it.

{\pos(289,275)}You don't have it?

{\pos(289,275)}And yet you have
the audacity to ask
the bank for money?

{\pos(289,275)}Apparently.

{\pos(289,275)}Do you have any idea
of the capital that this bank
has invested in you, Gru?

{\pos(289,275)}With far too few
of your sinister plots
actually turning a profit.

{\pos(289,275)}How can I put it?
Let's say this apple is you.

{\pos(289,275)}If we don't start
getting our money back...

{\pos(289,275)}Get the picture?

{\pos(289,275)}Look, Gru, the point is,
there are a lot of
new villains out there,

{\pos(289,275)}younger than you,
hungrier than you,

{\pos(289,275)}younger than you.

{\pos(289,275)}Like that young fellow
out there named Vector.

{\pos(289,275)}He just stole a pyramid!

{\pos(289,275)}I've got it.
I've got it.

{\pos(289,275)}Um... So, as far as getting
money for the rocket...

{\pos(289,275)}Get the shrink ray,
then we'll talk.

{\pos(289,275)}(YELPING)

{\pos(289,275)}(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

{\pos(289,275)}(HIGH-PITCHED
TRUMPETING)

{\pos(289,275)}(RUMBLING)

{\pos(289,275)}(INAUDIBLE)

{\pos(289,275)}(SHOUTING DESPERATELY)

{\pos(289,275)}(LAUGHS) Suckers!

{\pos(289,275)}(GRUNTING)

{\pos(289,275)}Suckers!

{\pos(289,275)}(GROANS)

{\pos(289,275)}Ah-ha! We got it!

{\pos(289,275)}(BOTH LAUGHING)
(METAL SIZZLING)

{\pos(289,275)}What?

{\pos(289,275)}Hey! Hey! What! Hey!

{\pos(289,275)}No, no, no!

{\pos(289,275)}You!

{\pos(289,275)}(LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Now, maybe you'll
think twice before you
freeze someone's head!

{\pos(289,275)}So long, Gru!

{\pos(289,275)}(LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Quick!
We can't let him get away!

{\pos(289,275)}(WHOOPING)

{\pos(289,275)}GRU: Up ahead!
Up ahead!

{\pos(289,275)}Fire! Fire, now!

{\pos(289,275)}(MACHINE GUN FIRING)
(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)

{\pos(289,275)}Oops, you missed me!

{\pos(289,275)}GRU: Come to papa!

{\pos(289,275)}Take that.

{\pos(289,275)}How adorable.
(CHUCKLES)

{\pos(289,275)}GRU: Got you
in our sights!

{\pos(289,275)}Like taking candy
from a...

{\pos(289,275)}What?

{\pos(289,275)}Ha! Hey, Gru!

{\pos(289,275)}Try this on for size!

{\pos(289,275)}That's weird.
What is going...

{\pos(289,275)}(SCREECHES)

{\pos(289,275)}This is claustrophobic!

{\pos(289,275)}No, no, no!

{\pos(289,275)}(GRUNTING)

{\pos(289,275)}(LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Too small!
This is too small for me!

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL SCREAM)

{\pos(289,275)}(GROANS)

{\pos(289,275)}I hate that guy!

{\pos(289,275)}...and please
watch over us,

{\pos(289,275)}and bless that we'll have
a good night's sleep.

{\pos(289,275)}And bless that
while we're sleeping,

{\pos(289,275)}no bugs will
crawl into our ears

{\pos(289,275)}and lay eggs
in our brains.

{\pos(289,275)}Great. Thanks for
that image, Edith.

{\pos(289,275)}And please bless
that someone will
adopt us soon,

{\pos(289,275)}and that the mommy
and daddy will be nice

{\pos(289,275)}and have a pet unicorn.

{\pos(289,275)}Amen.

{\pos(289,275)}Amen.
Amen.

{\pos(289,275)}AGNES: (SINGING)
Unicorns, I love them
Unicorns, I love them

{\pos(289,275)}Uni, uni, unicorns
I love them

{\pos(289,275)}Uni, unicorns,
I could pet one

{\pos(289,275)}If they were really real
(SIGHS)

{\pos(289,275)}And they are

{\pos(289,275)}So, I bought one
so I could pet it

{\pos(289,275)}Now it loves me
Now I love it

{\pos(289,275)}La, la, la, la, la

{\pos(289,275)}(ALARM BEEPING RAPIDLY)

{\pos(289,275)}(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS)

{\pos(289,275)}(GROANING)

{\pos(289,275)}(GRUNTS)

{\pos(289,275)}(GROANING)

{\pos(289,275)}(GRUNTS)

{\pos(289,275)}Don't you...
(EXCLAIMS) What the...

{\pos(289,275)}(MOANING)

{\pos(289,275)}(CHUCKLING)

{\pos(289,275)}Oh, good luck,
little girls!

{\pos(289,275)}Whoa! Cool.

{\pos(289,275)}Hi! We're orphans
from Miss Hattie's
Home for Girls.

{\pos(289,275)}VECTOR: I don't care.
Beat it!
Come on!

{\pos(289,275)}We're selling cookies
so, you know, we can
have a better future.

{\pos(289,275)}VECTOR: Ooh! Wait, wait!
Do you have coco-nutties?
Yeah.

{\pos(289,275)}Light bulb.

{\pos(289,275)}Dr. Nefario!
Huh?

{\pos(289,275)}I'm going to need
a dozen tiny robots
disguised as cookies!

{\pos(289,275)}What?
Cookie robots!

{\pos(289,275)}Who is this?
Oh, forget it.

{\pos(289,275)}(CHUCKLING)

{\pos(289,275)}Well, it appears you have
cleared our background check,

{\pos(289,275)}Dr. Gru.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh! And I see you
have made a list

{\pos(289,275)}of some of your
personal achievements.

{\pos(289,275)}Thank you for that.
I love reading.

{\pos(289,275)}(MUMBLING GIBBERISH)

{\pos(289,275)}And I see
you have been given
the Medal of Honor

{\pos(289,275)}and a knighthood.

{\pos(289,275)}Me, me, me.
Me, me, me.

{\pos(289,275)}Kevin?

{\pos(289,275)}(BOTH SPEAK GIBBERISH)

{\pos(289,275)}You had your own
cooking show

{\pos(289,275)}and you can hold
your breath
for 30 seconds?

{\pos(289,275)}It's not that
impressive.

{\pos(289,275)}Uh... (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

{\pos(289,275)}(GROANS)

{\pos(289,275)}Idiot! (CHUCKLES)

{\pos(289,275)}ALL: Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!

{\pos(289,275)}What in the name of...
What?

{\pos(289,275)}(GRU CLEARS THROAT)

{\pos(289,275)}Well, here's the dealio.

{\pos(289,275)}Things have been
so lonely since my wife,

{\pos(289,275)}Debbie, passed on.

{\pos(289,275)}It's like
my heart is a tooth,

{\pos(289,275)}and it's got a cavity
that can only be filled
with children.

{\pos(289,275)}I'm sorry.

{\pos(289,275)}You are a beautiful woman.
Do you speak Spanish?

{\pos(289,275)}Do I look like
I speak Spanish?

{\pos(289,275)}You have a face
como un burro.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh!

{\pos(289,275)}Well, thank you!
(GIGGLES)

{\pos(289,275)}Anyway, can we proceed
with this adoption?

{\pos(289,275)}So, so excited!

{\pos(289,275)}Please tell Margo,
Edith and Agnes
to come to the lobby.

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL SCREAMING)

{\pos(289,275)}I bet the mom
is beautiful!

{\pos(289,275)}I bet the daddy's
eyes sparkle.

{\pos(289,275)}I bet their house is
made of Gummi Bears.

{\pos(289,275)}I'm just saying
it'd be nice.

{\pos(289,275)}Aw! My caterpillar never
turned into a butterfly.

{\pos(289,275)}That's a Cheeto.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh!

{\pos(289,275)}Well, Debbie was
a very lucky woman.

{\pos(289,275)}Who's Debbie?

{\pos(289,275)}Your wife.
(DOOR OPENS)

{\pos(289,275)}Oh! Hi, girls!

{\pos(289,275)}Girls, I want you
to meet Mr. Gru.

{\pos(289,275)}He's going to adopt you.

{\pos(289,275)}And he's a dentist!

{\pos(289,275)}Yeah! (CHUCKLING)

{\pos(289,275)}Um...

{\pos(289,275)}Hi. I'm Margo.
This is Edith.

{\pos(289,275)}And that's Agnes.

{\pos(289,275)}(SING-SONG)
I got your leg,
I got your leg!

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, that is enough,
little girl.

{\pos(289,275)}Let go of my leg.
Come on. You can do it.
Higher!

{\pos(289,275)}Higher! (LAUGHS)
Just release
your grip. Wow!