神偷奶爸 Despicable Me (2010)【完整台词】

{\pos(289,275)}Law enforcement
still has no leads,

{\pos(289,275)}leaving everyone to wonder,
which of the world's villains

{\pos(289,275)}is responsible
for this heinous crime?

{\pos(289,275)}And where will
he strike next?

{\pos(289,275)}(CRYING)

{\pos(289,275)}I'm having a bad, bad day

{\pos(289,275)}It's about time
that I get my way

{\pos(289,275)}Steamrolling whatever I see

{\pos(289,275)}Freeze ray! Freeze ray!
Freeze ray! (LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}I'm having a bad, bad day

{\pos(289,275)}If you take it personal,
that's okay

{\pos(289,275)}Watch, this is so fun to see

{\pos(289,275)}Despicable me

{\pos(289,275)}FRED: Morning, Gru!

{\pos(289,275)}(CHUCKLING)
How you doing?

{\pos(289,275)}Hello, Fred.

{\pos(289,275)}FYI, your dog
has been leaving

{\pos(289,275)}little bombs
all over my yard,

{\pos(289,275)}and I don't
appreciate it.

{\pos(289,275)}(LAUGHING) Sorry.
You know dogs.

{\pos(289,275)}They go wherever
they want to go.

{\pos(289,275)}Unless they're dead.

{\pos(289,275)}(LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}I'm joking!

{\pos(289,275)}Although, it is true.
Anyway, have a good one.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh, okay.
Uh... Yeah.

{\pos(289,275)}Steamrolling whatever I see

{\pos(289,275)}Despicable me
(LOUD SNORING)

{\pos(289,275)}I'm having a bad, bad day

{\pos(289,275)}If you take it personal,
that's okay

{\pos(289,275)}Despicable me
(CONTINUES SNORING)

{\pos(289,275)}(DOORBELL CHIMES)

{\pos(289,275)}(GROANS)
You've got to be
pulling on my leg!

{\pos(289,275)}MARGO: Hello!

{\pos(289,275)}Cookies for sale.

{\pos(289,275)}Go away.
I'm not home.

{\pos(289,275)}Yes, you are.
I heard you.

{\pos(289,275)}(GASPS) No, you didn't. This

{\pos(289,275)}is a recording.

{\pos(289,275)}MARGO: No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.

{\pos(289,275)}Watch this.
Leave a message, beep.

{\pos(289,275)}(GRU SHOUTS IN PAIN)

{\pos(289,275)}Goodbye,
recorded message.

{\pos(289,275)}MARGO: Agnes,
come on.

{\pos(289,275)}Huh?

{\pos(289,275)}(SNAPS)

{\pos(289,275)}(SCREAMS) Kyle!

{\pos(289,275)}Bad dog! No!
No, no. Sit. My muffin.

{\pos(289,275)}Gru!

{\pos(289,275)}Ah, Dr. Nefario.

{\pos(289,275)}I know how you
must be feeling.

{\pos(289,275)}I, too, have encountered
great disappointment,

{\pos(289,275)}but in my eyes,
you will always be
one of the greats.

{\pos(289,275)}What? What happened?

{\pos(289,275)}It's all over the news!

{\pos(289,275)}Some fella just
stole a pyramid.

{\pos(289,275)}They're saying he makes
all other villains look

{\pos(289,275)}lame.

{\pos(289,275)}Assemble the minions!

{\pos(289,275)}(YELPS)

{\pos(289,275)}(COUNTING)

{\pos(289,275)}Minions, assemble!

{\pos(289,275)}Okay. Okay.

{\pos(289,275)}Throo...

{\pos(289,275)}(SCREAMS IN PAIN)

{\pos(289,275)}Hey!

{\pos(289,275)}(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

{\pos(289,275)}(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

{\pos(289,275)}(BOTH LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL CHEERING)

{\pos(289,275)}Looking good, Kevin!
How is the family? Good?

{\pos(289,275)}All right.

{\pos(289,275)}That's my Billy boy!
What up, Larry?

{\pos(289,275)}Hello, everybody!

{\pos(289,275)}Yeah, all right!

{\pos(289,275)}Simmer down.
Simmer down!

{\pos(289,275)}Thank you, okay.

{\pos(289,275)}Now, I realize that
you guys probably heard

{\pos(289,275)}about this other villain
who stole the pyramids.

{\pos(289,275)}Apparently,
it's a big deal.

{\pos(289,275)}People are calling it
the crime of the century
and stuff like that.

{\pos(289,275)}But am I upset?
No, I am not!

{\pos(289,275)}A little,

{\pos(289,275)}but we have had
a pretty good year
ourselves,

{\pos(289,275)}and you guys are
all right in my book.

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMING)

{\pos(289,275)}No, no raises!

{\pos(289,275)}You're not going
to get any raises.

{\pos(289,275)}What did we do?

{\pos(289,275)}Well, we stole
the Times Square JumboTron!

{\pos(289,275)}Nice!
(ALL CHEERING)

{\pos(289,275)}Huh?

{\pos(289,275)}That's how I roll.

{\pos(289,275)}Yeah, you all like
watching football
on that, huh?

{\pos(289,275)}But that's not all.

{\pos(289,275)}We stole
the Statue of Liberty,

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL CHEERING)

{\pos(289,275)}The small one
from Las Vegas.

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY)

{\pos(289,275)}And I won't even mention
the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas.

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, I wasn't going to
tell you about this yet,

{\pos(289,275)}but I have been working
on something very big!

{\pos(289,275)}Something that will
blow this pyramid thing
out of the water!

{\pos(289,275)}And thanks to the efforts
of my good friend
Dr. Nefario...

{\pos(289,275)}Thank you!

{\pos(289,275)}GRU: Oh, there he is.

{\pos(289,275)}He's styling.

{\pos(289,275)}Now, we have located
a shrink ray

{\pos(289,275)}in a secret lab,
and once we take
this shrink ray,

{\pos(289,275)}we will have the capability

{\pos(289,275)}to pull off the true
crime of the century.

{\pos(289,275)}We are going to steal...

{\pos(289,275)}Wait, wait! I haven't
told you what it is yet.

{\pos(289,275)}(MINIONS EXCLAIMING)

{\pos(289,275)}Hey.

{\pos(289,275)}Dave, listen up, please.

{\pos(289,275)}Next, we are going to steal,

{\pos(289,275)}(SOFTLY) pause for effect,

{\pos(289,275)}the moon!

{\pos(289,275)}(MINIONS CHEERING)

{\pos(289,275)}And once the moon is mine,

{\pos(289,275)}the world will give me
whatever I want
to get it back!

{\pos(289,275)}And I will be
the greatest villain
of all time!

{\pos(289,275)}That's what
I'm talking about.

{\pos(289,275)}(CELL PHONE RINGING)

{\pos(289,275)}Yes?

{\pos(289,275)}Hello, Gru? I've been
crunching some numbers,

{\pos(289,275)}and I really don't see
how we can afford this.

{\pos(289,275)}It can't be done.
I'm not a miracle worker.

{\pos(289,275)}Hey, chillax.

{\pos(289,275)}I'll just get another loan
from the bank. They love me!

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMS)

{\pos(289,275)}Edith, stop it!

{\pos(289,275)}What? I'm just walking.

{\pos(289,275)}(KEYS CLACKING)

{\pos(289,275)}ALL: Hi, Miss Hattie.
We're back.

{\pos(289,275)}Hello, girls!

{\pos(289,275)}Anybody come to adopt us
while we were out?

{\pos(289,275)}Mmm. Let me think.

{\pos(289,275)}No!

{\pos(289,275)}Edith! What did you
put on my desk?

{\pos(289,275)}A mud pie.

{\pos(289,275)}(SIGHS) You're never
gonna get adopted, Edith.
You know that, don't you?

{\pos(289,275)}Yeah, I know.

{\pos(289,275)}Good.

{\pos(289,275)}So, how did it go, girls?
Did we meet our quotas?

{\pos(289,275)}Sort of.

{\pos(289,275)}We sold 43 mini-mints,
30 choco-swirlies,
and 18 coco-nutties.

{\pos(289,275)}(SIGHS) Okay.

{\pos(289,275)}Well, you say that like
it's a great sale day.

{\pos(289,275)}Look at my face!

{\pos(289,275)}Do you still think
it's a great sale day?

{\pos(289,275)}Eighteen coco-nutties.

{\pos(289,275)}I think we can do a little
better than that, don't you?

{\pos(289,275)}Yeah.

{\pos(289,275)}We wouldn't want to spend
the weekend in the
Box of Shame, would we? No.

{\pos(289,275)}ALL: No, Miss Hattie.

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, good. Off you go.
Go clean something of mine.

{\pos(289,275)}Hi, Penny.
Hi, Penny.

{\pos(289,275)}Hi, guys.

{\pos(289,275)}(CELL PHONE RINGING)

{\pos(289,275)}Hello, Mom. Sorry,
I meant to call, but...

{\pos(289,275)}I just wanted to
congratulate you
on stealing the pyramid.

{\pos(289,275)}(SIGHING)
That was you,
wasn't it?

{\pos(289,275)}Or was it a villain
who's actually successful?
(LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Just so you know, Mom,
I am about to do something

{\pos(289,275)}that's very, very big,
very important.

{\pos(289,275)}When you hear about it,
you're going to be
very proud.

{\pos(289,275)}(SCOFFS)

{\pos(289,275)}Good luck with that.
Okay, I'm out of here.

{\pos(289,275)}(GRUNTING)

{\pos(289,275)}(BREATHES DEEPLY)

{\pos(289,275)}Gru to see Mr. Perkins.

{\pos(289,275)}Yes, please have a seat.

{\pos(289,275)}NEIL ARMSTRONG: That's one
small step for man,

{\pos(289,275)}one giant leap for mankind.

{\pos(289,275)}Ma, someday I'm going
to go to the moon.

{\pos(289,275)}(SCOFFS) I'm afraid
you're too late, Son.