神偷奶爸 Despicable Me (2010)【完整台词】

{\pos(289,275)}Sorry to bother you,
Mr. Perkins,

{\pos(289,275)}but I figured that you
would want to see this!

{\pos(289,275)}What?

{\pos(289,275)}Well done, Gru.
(SQUEAKING)

{\pos(289,275)}Rather impressive.

{\pos(289,275)}Now, the rest
of the plan is simple.

{\pos(289,275)}I fly to the moon.
I shrink the moon.

{\pos(289,275)}I grab the moon.
I sit on the toilet.

{\pos(289,275)}What?
(GIRLS LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Sorry. Sorry!

{\pos(289,275)}Could you excuse me
for just one second?

{\pos(289,275)}I told you not
to touch my things.

{\pos(289,275)}I told you, I told you.
I've told you
a thousand times.

{\pos(289,275)}Hey, can we
order pizza?

{\pos(289,275)}Pizza?
You just had lunch.

{\pos(289,275)}Not now, for dinner.

{\pos(289,275)}Dinner?

{\pos(289,275)}Just...
Fine, fine, fine, whatever.
Just get back in there!

{\pos(289,275)}Oh! Can we get
stuffed crust?

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMING)

{\pos(289,275)}Stuffed crust!
Stuffed crust!

{\pos(289,275)}I'll stuff you
all in the crust!

{\pos(289,275)}(GIGGLING)

{\pos(289,275)}You're funny!

{\pos(289,275)}Just don't come out
of that room again!

{\pos(289,275)}All right.

{\pos(289,275)}Sorry about that.
Where were we?

{\pos(289,275)}You were sitting
on the toilet.

{\pos(289,275)}No, no, no!
No, I'm sorry. It was
a little attempt at humor.

{\pos(289,275)}I know how much
you like to laugh

{\pos(289,275)}inside.
Now, I was saying...

{\pos(289,275)}(DOOR CREAKING OPEN)

{\pos(289,275)}You don't seem
terribly focused, Gru.

{\pos(289,275)}Believe me,
I am completely focused.

{\pos(289,275)}Hello! Whoa!
What?

{\pos(289,275)}That guy is huge!

{\pos(289,275)}Are we on TV?
What are those? Children?

{\pos(289,275)}What are you doing?
I told you to stay
out of here!

{\pos(289,275)}(GIRLS LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}No, no, no!

{\pos(289,275)}Freeze ray!

{\pos(289,275)}Mr. Gru?

{\pos(289,275)}(GRU EXCLAIMING)

{\pos(289,275)}Okay.

{\pos(289,275)}As I was saying...

{\pos(289,275)}No need to continue.
I've seen quite enough.

{\pos(289,275)}But my plan...

{\pos(289,275)}Is a great plan.

{\pos(289,275)}I love everything
about your plan,
except for one thing.

{\pos(289,275)}You.

{\pos(289,275)}Look, Mom,
I drew a picture of me
landing on the moon!

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMS INDIFFERENTLY)

{\pos(289,275)}Look, Mom, I made
a prototype of the rocket
out of macaroni!

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMS INDIFFERENTLY)

{\pos(289,275)}Look, Mom,
I made a real rocket

{\pos(289,275)}based on the
macaroni prototype!

{\pos(289,275)}(GASPS)

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMS INDIFFERENTLY)

{\pos(289,275)}I don't understand.

{\pos(289,275)}Let's face reality, Gru.

{\pos(289,275)}You've been at this
for far too long with
far too little success.

{\pos(289,275)}We're gonna put our faith,
our money, into a...

{\pos(289,275)}Well, a younger villain.

{\pos(289,275)}But I...

{\pos(289,275)}It's over. Goodbye, Gru.

{\pos(289,275)}(INDISTINCT MUTTERING)

{\pos(289,275)}(SIGHS)

{\pos(289,275)}Now, I know there have been
some rumors going around

{\pos(289,275)}that the bank is
no longer funding us.

{\pos(289,275)}Well, I am here to put
those rumors to rest.

{\pos(289,275)}They are true.

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL GASP)
Uh-oh!

{\pos(289,275)}In terms of money,

{\pos(289,275)}we have no money.

{\pos(289,275)}So how will we
get to the moon?

{\pos(289,275)}The answer is clear.

{\pos(289,275)}We won't.

{\pos(289,275)}(SOBBING)

{\pos(289,275)}We are doomed.

{\pos(289,275)}Now would probably
be a good time

{\pos(289,275)}to look for other
employment options.

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL GASP)

{\pos(289,275)}I know.

{\pos(289,275)}I have fired up my resume
as I suggest that
all of you do, as well.

{\pos(289,275)}What is it?

{\pos(289,275)}Can't you see that
I am in the middle
of a pep talk?

{\pos(289,275)}(MINION EXCLAIMING)

{\pos(289,275)}(LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL EXCLAIMING)

{\pos(289,275)}Yes!

{\pos(289,275)}Yes, we will build
our own rocket

{\pos(289,275)}using this and whatever
else we can find!

{\pos(289,275)}Grab everything!
Hit the junkyards!
Take apart the cars!

{\pos(289,275)}Who needs the bank?

{\pos(289,275)}Let's go. Let's go!

{\pos(289,275)}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)

{\pos(289,275)}(SCREAMING)

{\pos(289,275)}(BLEEPING)

{\pos(289,275)}(GASPS) Mom!
What are you doing here?

{\pos(289,275)}And here he is
in the bathtub.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh! Look at his
little buns.

{\pos(289,275)}(GIRLS GIGGLING)

{\pos(289,275)}Mom.

{\pos(289,275)}Not cool.

{\pos(289,275)}And here,
he's all dressed up
in his Sunday best.

{\pos(289,275)}He looks like a girl!

{\pos(289,275)}(CHUCKLES)
Yes, he does.
An ugly girl!

{\pos(289,275)}(WHOOPING)

{\pos(289,275)}(SNARLING)

{\pos(289,275)}You're funny!

{\pos(289,275)}Yes! Mine's shaped
like a dead guy!

{\pos(289,275)}(BLEEPING)

{\pos(289,275)}(BEEPING RAPIDLY)

{\pos(289,275)}(GIRLS GIGGLING)

{\pos(289,275)}RECEPTIONIST:
Mr. Perkins,
your son is here.

{\pos(289,275)}Send him in.

{\pos(289,275)}Hey, Dad.

{\pos(289,275)}You wanted to see me?

{\pos(289,275)}Yes, I did, Victor.

{\pos(289,275)}I am not Victor anymore.

{\pos(289,275)}Victor was my nerd name.
Now I am Vector!

{\pos(289,275)}Sit down!

{\pos(289,275)}Do you know where
the shrink ray is?

{\pos(289,275)}Duh! Back at my place.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh, is that right?
Back at your place?
Oh, that's cool.

{\pos(289,275)}I guess Gru
must just have one
that looks exactly like it!

{\pos(289,275)}Oh! What the...
Those girls sold me cookies!

{\pos(289,275)}Do you have any idea
how lucrative this
moon heist could be?

{\pos(289,275)}I give you
the opportunity
of a lifetime,

{\pos(289,275)}and you just blow it!

{\pos(289,275)}No, I didn't.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh, really?

{\pos(289,275)}You just wait
until Gru sees
my latest weapon.

{\pos(289,275)}Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah!

{\pos(289,275)}MAN: (SCREAMS)
There's a squid on my face!

{\pos(289,275)}(CHUCKLES)

{\pos(289,275)}Don't worry.

{\pos(289,275)}The moon is as good as ours.

{\pos(289,275)}(CHEERING)
(LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Come on now,
it's bedtime.

{\pos(289,275)}Did you brush your teeth?
Let me smell. Let me smell.

{\pos(289,275)}(EXHALES)

{\pos(289,275)}You did not!

{\pos(289,275)}Put on your PJs.
Hold still. Okay,
seriously! Seriously!

{\pos(289,275)}This is beddie-bye time,
right now.

{\pos(289,275)}I'm not kidding around.
I mean it!

{\pos(289,275)}But we're not tired!

{\pos(289,275)}Well, I am tired.

{\pos(289,275)}Will you read us
a bedtime story?

{\pos(289,275)}No.

{\pos(289,275)}Pretty please!

{\pos(289,275)}The physical appearance
of the "please"
makes no difference.

{\pos(289,275)}It is still no,
so go to sleep.

{\pos(289,275)}But we can't.
We're all hyper!

{\pos(289,275)}And without a bedtime story,
we'll just keep getting up
and bugging you.

{\pos(289,275)}All night long.

{\pos(289,275)}(SIGHS) Fine.

{\pos(289,275)}All right, all right.
Sleepy Kittens.

{\pos(289,275)}Sleepy Kittens?

{\pos(289,275)}What are these?
AGNES: Puppets.

{\pos(289,275)}You use them when
you tell the story.

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, let's get
this over with.

{\pos(289,275)}"Three little kittens
loved to play,

{\pos(289,275)}"they had fun
in the sun all day.

{\pos(289,275)}"Then their mother
came out and said,

{\pos(289,275)}"'Time for kittens
to go to bed."'

{\pos(289,275)}Wow! This is garbage.
You actually like this?

{\pos(289,275)}Keep reading!

{\pos(289,275)}(GROANS)

{\pos(289,275)}Come on!
All right,
all right, all right.

{\pos(289,275)}"Three little kittens
started to bawl,

{\pos(289,275)}"'Mommy, we're not
tired at all.'

{\pos(289,275)}"Their mother smiled
and said with a purr,

{\pos(289,275)}"'Fine, but at least
you should brush your fur."'

{\pos(289,275)}Now you brush the fur.

{\pos(289,275)}This is literature?

{\pos(289,275)}A 2-year-old could
have written this.
All right.

{\pos(289,275)}"Three little kittens
with fur all brushed

{\pos(289,275)}"said, 'We can't sleep,
we feel too rushed! '

{\pos(289,275)}"Their mother replied,
with a voice like silk,