神偷奶爸 Despicable Me (2010)【完整台词】

{\pos(289,275)}How do you remove them?
Is there a command?

{\pos(289,275)}Some nonstick spray?

{\pos(289,275)}Crowbar? (SIGHS)

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, girls, let's go.

{\pos(289,275)}(CRYING)

{\pos(289,275)}(CAR ALARMS SOUNDING)

{\pos(289,275)}VECTOR: (GRUNTS) Ah-ha!

{\pos(289,275)}Oh, yeah!

{\pos(289,275)}Pretty impressive!

{\pos(289,275)}What are you looking at?

{\pos(289,275)}Boo-ya!

{\pos(289,275)}You got shrunk,
tiny mouthwash!

{\pos(289,275)}Take that!

{\pos(289,275)}You done been shrunk!

{\pos(289,275)}(CELL PHONE RINGING)

{\pos(289,275)}Yello?

{\pos(289,275)}I got the shrink ray,
all right.

{\pos(289,275)}No, I'm not
playing with it.

{\pos(289,275)}Gru? (LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Don't make me laugh! No.

{\pos(289,275)}P.S., he is not
getting the moon,

{\pos(289,275)}and P. P.S., by the time
I'm done with him,

{\pos(289,275)}he's gonna be
begging for mercy.

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, bye.

{\pos(289,275)}Aw! Look at you,
a little tiny toilet
for a little tiny baby...

{\pos(289,275)}(SCREAMS)

{\pos(289,275)}Curse you, tiny toilet!

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, here we are.

{\pos(289,275)}Home sweet home.

{\pos(289,275)}So, this is, like,
your house?

{\pos(289,275)}Wait a sec...

{\pos(289,275)}You're the guy
who pretended he was
a recorded message!

{\pos(289,275)}No, that was
someone else.

{\pos(289,275)}Can I hold your hand?

{\pos(289,275)}Uh, no.

{\pos(289,275)}When we got adopted
by a bald guy,

{\pos(289,275)}I thought this'd be
more like Annie.

{\pos(289,275)}(GROWLING)

{\pos(289,275)}No, hey!

{\pos(289,275)}Kyle, these are not treats.
These are guests.

{\pos(289,275)}Girls,
this is Kyle, my

{\pos(289,275)}dog.

{\pos(289,275)}(SNARLS)

{\pos(289,275)}Ooh! Fluffy doggy!

{\pos(289,275)}(YELPING)

{\pos(289,275)}What kind of dog
is that?

{\pos(289,275)}He is a...
I don't know.

{\pos(289,275)}MARGO: Do you really think
that this is an appropriate
place for little kids?

{\pos(289,275)}'Cause it's not.

{\pos(289,275)}No! No!
Stay away from there!

{\pos(289,275)}It's fragile.

{\pos(289,275)}(GASPS)

{\pos(289,275)}Well, I suppose
the plan will
work with two.

{\pos(289,275)}EDITH: Hey!
It's dark in here.

{\pos(289,275)}It poked a hole
in my juice box.

{\pos(289,275)}As you can see,

{\pos(289,275)}I have provided everything
a child might need.

{\pos(289,275)}All right.

{\pos(289,275)}Uh... Okay.
As I was saying... Hey!
(CRASHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Somebody broke that.

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, okay.
Clearly, we need
to set some rules.

{\pos(289,275)}Rule number one.

{\pos(289,275)}You will not
touch anything.

{\pos(289,275)}Uh-huh.
What about the floor?

{\pos(289,275)}Yes, you may
touch the floor.

{\pos(289,275)}What about the air?

{\pos(289,275)}Yes, you may
touch the air!

{\pos(289,275)}What about this?

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMS)

{\pos(289,275)}Where did you get that?
Found it.

{\pos(289,275)}Okay. Rule number two.
You will not bother me
while I'm working.

{\pos(289,275)}Rule number three.

{\pos(289,275)}You will not cry or whine
or laugh or giggle

{\pos(289,275)}or sneeze
or burp or fart!

{\pos(289,275)}So, no, no, no
annoying sounds.
All right?

{\pos(289,275)}Does this count
as annoying?

{\pos(289,275)}(POPPING)

{\pos(289,275)}Very!

{\pos(289,275)}(SIGHS)

{\pos(289,275)}I will see you
in six hours.

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, don't worry.
Everything's going
to be fine.

{\pos(289,275)}We're gonna be
really happy here.
Right? Agnes?

{\pos(289,275)}Mmm?

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMS)

{\pos(289,275)}(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

{\pos(289,275)}(CLICKING)

{\pos(289,275)}(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING)

{\pos(289,275)}Uh, question.
What are these?

{\pos(289,275)}A dozen boogie robots!
Boogie! (LAUGHING)

{\pos(289,275)}Look at this. Watch me!

{\pos(289,275)}(MUSIC STOPS)

{\pos(289,275)}Cookie robots.
I said cookie robots.

{\pos(289,275)}Why are you so old?

{\pos(289,275)}Okay. I'm on it.

{\pos(289,275)}Hello?

{\pos(289,275)}TV!

{\pos(289,275)}(KYLE GROWLING)

{\pos(289,275)}(WHIMPERS)

{\pos(289,275)}MARGO: What is that?

{\pos(289,275)}Wow!
Look at that!

{\pos(289,275)}That is cool!

{\pos(289,275)}Come on!

{\pos(289,275)}I don't think
he's a dentist.

{\pos(289,275)}(WHIMPERS)

{\pos(289,275)}We've been working
on this for a while.

{\pos(289,275)}It's a anti-gravity serum.

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMING)

{\pos(289,275)}(SCREAMING)

{\pos(289,275)}I meant to close that.
He'll be all right,
I'm sure.

{\pos(289,275)}Do the effects wear off?

{\pos(289,275)}Uh, so far,

{\pos(289,275)}no. No, they don't.

{\pos(289,275)}And here, of course,
is the new weapon
you ordered.

{\pos(289,275)}(FARTING)

{\pos(289,275)}No, no.

{\pos(289,275)}I said "dart gun,"
not... Okay.

{\pos(289,275)}Oh, yes.
'Cause I was wondering

{\pos(289,275)}under what circumstances
would we use this?

{\pos(289,275)}But, anyway.

{\pos(289,275)}What I really wanted
to show you was this.

{\pos(289,275)}Now those are
cookie robots!

{\pos(289,275)}AGNES: (SINGING)
La, la, la, la
I love unicorns

{\pos(289,275)}What are you doing here?
I told you to stay
in the kitchen!

{\pos(289,275)}We got bored.
What is this place?

{\pos(289,275)}Can I drink this?

{\pos(289,275)}Do you want to explode?

{\pos(289,275)}(EXCLAIMS)

{\pos(289,275)}Gru!

{\pos(289,275)}Get back
in the kitchen!

{\pos(289,275)}Will you play with us?
No.

{\pos(289,275)}Why?
Because I'm busy.

{\pos(289,275)}(SCOFFS)
Doing what?

{\pos(289,275)}Um...

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, okay,
you got me.

{\pos(289,275)}The dentist thing
is more of a hobby.

{\pos(289,275)}In real life,
I am a spy.

{\pos(289,275)}And it is top secret,
and you may not tell anybody,

{\pos(289,275)}because if you do...
What does this do?

{\pos(289,275)}(GASPS)

{\pos(289,275)}Hey!
Oops.

{\pos(289,275)}My unicorn!

{\pos(289,275)}You have to fix it.

{\pos(289,275)}Fix it?
Look, it has been
disintegrated.

{\pos(289,275)}By definition,
it cannot be fixed.

{\pos(289,275)}(GASPS)

{\pos(289,275)}(INHALES)

{\pos(289,275)}That's freaking me out.
What is she doing?

{\pos(289,275)}She's gonna hold her breath
until she gets a new one.

{\pos(289,275)}It is just a toy.
Now stop it!

{\pos(289,275)}(GRUNTING)

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, okay!
I'll fix it!

{\pos(289,275)}Tim! Mark! Phil!

{\pos(289,275)}This is very important.

{\pos(289,275)}You have to get
the little girl
a new unicorn toy.

{\pos(289,275)}Eh?

{\pos(289,275)}(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

{\pos(289,275)}(CHUCKLING)

{\pos(289,275)}Hey, hey, hey! A toy!

{\pos(289,275)}Go, and hurry!

{\pos(289,275)}What are those?

{\pos(289,275)}They are my cousins.

{\pos(289,275)}Jerry! Stuart!

{\pos(289,275)}Watch them, and keep them
away from me, please.

{\pos(289,275)}ALL: Wow!

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)

{\pos(289,275)}(STUTTERING)

{\pos(289,275)}(GROANS)

{\pos(289,275)}Ooh!

{\pos(289,275)}(SCREAMING)

{\pos(289,275)}Oh!

{\pos(289,275)}Hmm...

{\pos(289,275)}(FEEDBACK)

{\pos(289,275)}(SHUDDERING)

{\pos(289,275)}(SINGING GIBBERISH)

{\pos(289,275)}(ALL SINGING)

{\pos(289,275)}(GIRLS GIGGLING)

{\pos(289,275)}(CRASHING)

{\pos(289,275)}It was your cousin's idea.

{\pos(289,275)}What?

{\pos(289,275)}Okay, bedtime.