Previously on Desperate Housewives.
A friend was welcomed back.
I told them how much better you were doing.
A marriage was on the mend.
I would like to recapture what we once had.
Gabby and Carlos discovered a secret You are getting sloppy! And if people start poking around, we're done! and Susan made a request.
You're asking if I'm okay with letting a stripper live with us? The first thing you need to know about Robin Gallagher was that everyone liked to look at her.
They would stare at her legs, and her breasts, and her hair.
And once they were done, people would begin to ask Who is this? - This is my friend, Robin.
- Hello there.
Mike had to work today, so I thought I'd bring her as my plus one.
- Hello there.
- You already said that.
I wanted her to know I meant it.
It's really good to have you back on the lane, Katherine.
It's great to be back.
I didn't know what to expect at first.
I have wondered how everyone would feel about me, if they were really ready to welcome me back.
I guess there's always that fear that people are going to reject you.
- Do I smell appetizers? - I know I do.
Hello, Susan.
Who's your new friend? Robin, this is Carlos, Tom, Roy, and Orson.
Hope you got all that because there's going to be a quiz later.
Oh, God.
So, Robin, welcome to my humble abode.
Thank you.
It's so suburban.
I've never been in a place where the ceilings are so tall.
Fascinating.
Just fascinating.
- You live in the city? - I did, but I'll be living with Susan for a while.
I just moved in today.
- Susan, let's get you a drink.
- Oh, no.
That's okay.
I'll wait till So So, how did you meet Susan? So, you want to tell us about your new friend? Or should I say "roommate"? She was down on her luck and she needed a place to stay.
Plus I feel responsible because I told her to give up her job.
What was wrong with her job? Well, we probably don't need to let the guys in on this, but Robin was That's wild! So, you used to be a stripper? Yes, everyone liked to look at Robin Gallagher, but not everyone liked what they saw.
Later, while the men of Wisteria Lane were trying the shrimp, their wives were trying to control themselves.
You moved a stripper into the neighborhood? - What were you thinking? - You guys aren't even taking the time - to get to know her.
- Our husbands are in there pooling together their dollar bills.
What more do we need to know? I just met Robin.
She seems great.
Did she mention that she's a stripper? Did she have to? Look, I am just trying to help her get back on her feet.
I bet that'd be a nice change for her.
She is living in my house.
If anybody should be worried, it'd be me, and I am not threatened by her at all.
- Really? - Yes.
She's a nice girl.
Yeah.
Nice, blonde, and you can bounce a quarter off her ass.
I'm telling you, she's trouble.
Here's the good thing, she can't bring any more crazy to this street than I did.
Let's give her a chance.
I agree.
Robin's probably had a tough life and she needs our help.
Well, I'm all for being open-minded, but I have teenage boys at home.
The last thing I need next door is a stripper.
Hey, Mrs.
Scavo.
We're picking up Parker for school.
Please, come in.
I'll get him for you.
So, are you ever going to get back to folding the laundry? Well, I thought I'd treat myself and wash the breakfast dishes first.
Well, you started this, don't you think you should finish? Well, since you're so passionate about it, knock yourself out.
Okay, you just went from jerk to adorable real quick.
- Happy anniversary.
- Oh.
It's the ring! You went back to that antique shop! Yep.
Thank you.
Wait till you see your present.
You can unwrap it tonight, when the kids are asleep.
Or how about after they leave for school? Okay.
Hey, why are they still up there? And why can't I hear them? Hey, boys.
What's going on? We're late for school.
Hey, Lynette.
Hi.
The next time you take a shower, do you think you could close your blinds? I have a 16-year-old son, and he has friends.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
You may have retired from the strip club, but you're still doing seven shows a week.
I mean, at least they didn't have to pay a cover charge, right? This is a nice community.
You have a responsibility to the neighbors, especially the ones with innocent children.
Well, they're not all so innocent.
Excuse me? Yesterday, that son of yours asked me if I would have sex with him.
Parker? My Parker? Red hair, skinny, still-sleeps-in-a-bed- shaped-like-a-race-car Parker? Of course, I said no.
Then he offered me cash.
Hey.
Come in.
Have a seat.
What's up? Is something wrong? We hoped it would be another year before we had the parent-son conversation where we tell you not to offer your neighbor money for sex, but Oh, crap.
She told? Yeah.
You might want to pick a more discreet stripper next time.
What were you thinking? We raised you better than that.
Didn't we? - Yeah, we did.
- We did.
So, what do you have to say for yourself? I just really, really, really needed to have sex.
Three "reallys"? Well, in that case, here's a 20.
Go back and try again.
You are a 16-year-old boy.
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