Previously on Desperate Housewives Bree's husband felt rejected.
I think it's strange to see my wife billed As "mrs.
Van de kamp.
" it's how I'm known.
Is there a mr.
Van de kamp? No, uh, mr.
Van de kamp is deceased.
Would it have killed you to have mentioned me? It's because I went to jail, isn't it? Lynette's husband was excited.
We're gonna start a garage band! I thought you were the one who said you wanted To spend more Time with your family.
Guys need to blow off steam.
Edie's new husband had a past You've been here six weeks, And you don't seem any closer to coming to terms With your rage.
I've come to terms with it, And I like it just the way it is.
Which remained a mystery.
I just think it's odd that you're married to some guy.
You don't know anything about him.
Well, she kept asking me All this Stuff About your background.
And Susan tried to move on.
Well, I sort of started seeing someone.
Good for you.
Every year, ms.
Elenora BuTTers Would ask her kindergarten class To draw a picture of their families Which she would then display on "meet the teacher" night.
That's how Ty Richmond's parents Saw his depiction of their fighting And Amy Hines' parents Saw her portrayal of their drinking.
And Jason Monte's parents Saw his illustration of their hygiene.
You see, ms.
Butters felt it was important For parents to see themselves through their children's eyes.
She knew the experience Ed, he's got me vacuuming in my bra.
Do I do that? Could be very Educational.
I know, I know.
Did I not say 7:00? You missed their little show.
M.
J.
Was tooth decay.
Well, crosstown traffic killed me.
And I told you to videotape it.
Well, did you tell me to take off the lens cap? Next Time, be more specific.
Mr.
Delfino, glad you made it.
Uh, did you get to see m.
J.
's artwork? No, not yet.
Can't wait.
Oh.
Oh, hey, look at that.
There we are, Standing in front of the house.
Look what he did with my hair.
I kind of like the bangs.
Yeah, look, he put a wrench in my pocket.
And see how big my muscles are? Which is a good thing, 'cause there's a shark attacking the house.
Hey, daddy.
Hey, buddy.
Your mommy and i Were just looking at your wonderful painting.
You like it? I love it, especially how big and strong you made me look.
That's not you.
That's Jackson.
See the paintbrush in his pocket? Oh, who's Jackson? He paints our house Until my mom makes him drink wine and have a sleepover.
Because Mike and I are divorced, so that's why It was supposed to be a picture of the family, So you should've put your daddy in it.
Did.
Oh, the The bug with the little hat? That's you, 'cause you're Always so far away.
Oh, yeah, that's, um Now I see me.
Yes Every year, Ms.
Elenora BuTTers would ask her class To draw a picture of their families, Even though she knew the portraits Might not be that flattering.
If you look closely into the faces of your friends, You'll see it.
Congratulations! Hi! Come on in! Right behind their smiles, You will see a certain Green-eyed monster, And then you'll understand How envious they are of your well-kept home Your delious recipes And yourasteful ssessions.
Here's my cookbook.
But you'll have to work hard to see the jealousy, Because good friends Always work hard To hide it.
Look at you, right on the cover! These are advanced copies.
I wanted you to be the first to have them.
Oh, and look, you signed it-- "to Lynette, The sweetest, most wonderful friend I've ever known.
" "to Susan, the sweetest, most--" We don't have to read them out Loud.
Don't mind me, ladies.
I'm just grabbing a kiss on my way to the Salt mines.
Mmm.
Oh.
Mmm.
You have a good day Thanks, babe.
Oh, did you show thethe Ad? Yeah.
Oh, I Almost forgot.
Uh, bye Isn't this nice? They're running it next month in "woman's day.
" You're gonna be in magazines, too? They've come up with this whole Marketing plan-- Radio, print, book signings.
Wow! Isn't it fantastic? No, it's horrible! She's gonna become this famous author And have no Time at All for us.
No, come on, Gaby.
You know that Bree Will never change.
Thank you, Katherine I will never become Stuck-up and full of myself.
I didn't say that.
I said you'd never change.
Very funny.
I hardly think you have to worry about me becoming famous.
You have a Marketing plan.
You wanna see my Marketing plan? "milk, bread, vodka, condoms--" Could I see that? I'd love to read it.
Why? Well, back before I consecrated my life to mozzarella, Marketing was sort of what I did.
Oh, right! Of course.
I would, uh, love to hear your thoughts.
So you're still gonna Wanna hang out with us, even when you're totally fabulous, And we're still nobodies? Girls, you are making way too much of this.
I am not a bit more fabulous than any one of you.
Excuse me.
What is it, Andrew? I hope you're free for lunch on the 12th, 'cause the chamber of commerce Just named you businesswoman of the year.
Oh, my god! That is so amazing! The, uh, dry cleaner just, um Found my sweater.
Girls, catch up with you later! Orson, I have amazing news.
The chamber of commerce just called.
Oh? What about? I wanna buy you lunch and tell you in person.
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