Previously on "Desperate Housewives" But no adoption agency's gonna touch us now.
There are ways to get babies, Carlos.
$20,000.
- Wheels were put in motion - I love you.
Aw, thank you.
I love Mike.
- True emotions were revealed - Who the hell is Mike? Perception is reality, Andrew.
My name is Bree, and I am an alcoholic.
And false pretenses became a way of life.
Gabrielle Solis had always been a demanding shopper.
Carlos, come on! They're here! And whatever the purchase, she always expected the very best.
Whether it was exotic perfume shipped over from Paris a high fashion gown straight from a runway in Milan or designer shoes flown in from Manhattan.
But on this day, her expectations were going to be put to the test.
You see, Gabrielle was now shopping for a baby, and there was a problem with the manufacturer.
Mostly, I just wanna feel like I'm giving my baby to people who have what it takes to be really great parents.
Well, you won't find another couple with more love for a child.
Isn't that right, honey? Honey? Right, right.
Uh, lots of love.
Honey, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah.
Okay, look, we have to find another mother.
- Why? - Okay, this isn't easy to say, so I'm just gonna say it, - but have you taken a good look at her? - Oh, my God.
Are you trying to say that you don't want Deanna's baby - because she's plain? - No, plain I can handle.
Carlos, since that woman has walked into our house, the clocks have stopped working.
No one can predict what a child is gonna look like.
For all you know, her kid could end up winning beauty contests.
With her D.
N.
A.
, the only thing that kid's gonna be winning is best in show.
Look, Carlos, I am sorry, but I want a pretty baby, - so let's find another mother.
- Mnh-Mnh.
I'm not gonna let your shallow obsession with looks screw this up.
I want a child.
Any child.
Fine.
Just know that in a couple of days when that thing is born, and you're gonna have to cuddle and snuggle up with something with that face on it, don't come crying to me.
I'm sorry.
Now where were we? We were just talking about the custody arrangement once Deanna gives birth.
It's usually best that the mother doesn't see the child at all.
So as soon as the doctors finish giving their initial checkup the baby will be handed over you.
Yes, Gabrielle had always been a demanding shopper.
Sorry.
Because she knew there are some purchases that can't be returned.
Could I Leave You? At 6:10 the next morning, Deanna Pruse went into premature labor and gave birth to what would eventually be an incredibly attractive baby boy.
At 11:43, Dr.
Hanson Mills cut the umbilical cord, Forever separating mother and child.
At that exact same moment, Dr.
Ron McCready entered the private room of Susan Mayer with every intention of severing their connection.
Hey there.
How's it goin'? Great.
I'm about to be released.
Oh, that's terrific.
Who's Mike? I Why do you ask? I don't know.
No reason.
Ah, it's just, uh.
.
Just before the operation, just before you went under, I said, "I love you," And you said, "I love Mike.
" I did? Oh, is that why you haven't been in to see me since my surgery? Answer the question.
I don't even know a Mike.
- Everyone knows a Mike.
- Yes, everyone does know a Mike.
Actually, you're right.
I did know a Mike in college.
We did this play together, "Pippin.
" It wasn't very good.
Anyways, I never thought of him, so you shouldn't be accusing me.
I was probably just hallucinating.
Fine, fine.
So who's the guy you're married to? Damn that nurse Heisel! Or should I say, "who's the guy you're cheating on?" Okay, yes, I did remarry my ex, But it was only because he has great health insurance.
Didn't Miss blabbermouth tell you that, too? - You you committed insurance fraud? - Only in the legal sense.
And I just didn't tell you because I wanted to protect you.
- Susan - Okay, you know what? You should come over to dinner and meet Karl, and you can see that there is absolutely nothing between us.
So wait, once you're fully recovered you're gonna divorce him? Oh, yeah, that's the plan.
I swear.
And you swear that you're not in love with anyone named Mike? Sure.
Okay.
Come here.
I believe you.
Next morning, I woke up in an alley.
My wallet had been stolen.
I was lying in a pool of my own vomit.
That's when I knew I'd hit rock bottom.
Okay, who's next? Bree.
Oh! Um, I couldn't possibly top that.
Thank you, though.
Hi.
Before coming to these meetings, I never realized how messy substance abusers can be.
We usually leave the doughnut crumbs For the overeaters anonymous group at meets after us.
You know, just to mess with 'em.
You're awful.
So tell me, Bree, how long have you been sober? Gosh, um I'm not exactly sure.
Oh.
Is somebody still drinking? Now why would you say that? I've never met an alcoholic yet who didn't know exactly how long it'd been since his last drink.
Okay, you got me.
I'm not really an alcoholic.
You don't say.
It's true.
I'm coming here because of my son.
You see, he's he's trying to take me to court to become an emancipated minor, and he's planning on lying to the judge and telling him that I am some sort of dreadful lush.
So I'm coming to these meetings to give the impression - that I have changed.
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