Previously on "desperate housewives" Someone sent that note to my wife, and I need to know who.
Some secrets were discovered After my mom died, I started remembering what happened to Dana.
Who's Dana? What are you doing here? Some secrets were uncovered It could be any one of these guys she's having an affair with.
Don't worry about it.
I'm not letting her out of my sight.
And some secrets Jordana Geist manages to get her work done.
How do you cram it all in? Were shared.
That's A.
D.
D.
medication.
Competition -- it means different things to different people.
In suburbia, it means keeping up with the Joneses.
On Wisteria Lane, that means keeping up with Bree Van De Kamp.
Everyone knew Bree had the nicest lawn in the neighborhood, and no one be grudged her this.
No one, that is, except Martha Huber, whose own lawn paled in comparison.
No matter how carefully she trimmed or how lovingly she watered or how generously she fertilized the grass was always greener on the other side of the fence.
Hello, Victor.
How are you today? Out jogging again? I can't catch my breath.
Would you like a slurp from my hose? Victor? Victor? Don't worry.
I'm going to get an ambulance.
Then one day Mrs.
Huber finally got the chance to mow down the competition.
Help! Somebody help! What happened? He collapsed on your hydrangeas.
Call 911! Yes, Mrs.
Huber understood the first rule of competition -- in order to win, you have to want it more.
When I was alive, my friends and I came together once a month for a meeting of the Wisteria Lane book club.
We found the problems of literary characters so absorbing -- the way they dealt with adversity, conducted illicit affairs, endured domestic dramas, and planned romantic conquests.
But since my death, my friends had lost their interest in fiction.
So what did everybody think? Their own problems had become absorbing enough.
I thought the character of Madame Bovary was very inspirational.
Inspirational? She poisons herself with arsenic.
Really? You didn't read until the end? I stopped after page 50.
Am I the only one who read the book? I saw the movie.
It was really good.
Ladies, I'm sorry, but what is the point of having a book club if we don't read the book? More wine? So, uh, Reba, Emma, and Laurie, would you girls come to the kitchen and help me with the snacks? Sure.
I will be right in.
God, I couldn't wait to get rid of them.
Okay, so Lynette said that you found Zach.
He's at a rehabilitation center, and Julie snuck in and actually talked to him.
Did he say anything about his mother's suicide? There wasn't enough time, but he did say one thing that was kind of mysterious.
He said something happened to someone named Dana, and that he could never, ever talk about it.
Who the hell's Dana? That's the mystery part.
I figure Dana has something to do with what Mary Alice was trying to hide.
So somebody found out Mary Alice's secret and sent the note.
So who the hell is that? The stationery is parchment number 17, 100% cotton.
It's made by Cypress Office Products.
They have stores in 12 cities, including yours.
Now, I traced that postmark back to your local post office.
Meaning? Meaning that the blackmailer is probably someone you know -- a neighbor, milkman pool boy, soccer mom.
Soccer mom? Mr.
Young, sometimes evil drives a minivan.
I had this gig once tracking down this PTA mom who was hell-bent on landing her daughter a spot on the parade float.
Fed antifreeze to half the homecoming committee.
Did you catch her? Mr.
Young the people who hired me didn't hire me to catch her.
Wow, honey, -- this place looks spotless.
Thanks.
Hey, so, listen, I have come up with this killer idea for the Spotless Scrub campaign.
Great.
You want to run it by me? No, I'm good.
But thanks.
Okay.
Well, that's the thing.
You know how whenever I pitch in the boardroom at work, and Hennessy always tears my ideas down in front of the partners? Yeah.
I invited the partners and their wives over so I could pitchto them here, and I thought maybe we could make a formal dinner for six, we could sit, we could -- and when exactly would this formal dinner take place? Uh, day after tomorrow.
- Tom.
- Yeah, I know, I know, I know it's short notice.
I just -- You think? How am I supposed to pull off a formal dinner with no warning? I don't know.
Bree Van De Kamp does this kind of thing all the time.
What did you say? Wow, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that.
That's -- you know what? Forget it.
I'll call, and I'll cancel.
Just don't worry about it.
No, no, let's --let's do it.
Really? Yeah.
It's good for your career.
I'll pull it off.
Yes.
Honey, thank you so much.
You know what? I promise, I land this account, and I'm going to buy you something awful pretty.
Luckily for Tom, Lynette had a recipe for success.
Unfortunately for her, she was missing the secret ingredient.
- Yeah.
- It's me.
Don't turn around.
My mother-in-law can see you.
I hate that she's always watching us.
So meet me at the motel in an hour? John? Uh, I've got plans.
So cancel.
They're with Danielle.
We're going to the movies.
That sounds like a date.
Yeah.
Well, I have a problem with you seeing other girls.
Well, I have a problem with you having a husband.
I guess we'll both have to learn to deal.
Don't even try to make it up to me by talking dirty.
& nbsp; Hello? Mr.
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