1
All right, we're going from
the condemned building where we work
to the condemned
building where we live.
- Do you have a moment for
- I'm sorry,
I don't speak English.
Max, there's a do-gooder outside
raising money for charity.
Probably something like OCD pandas
or owls that say "whom.
"
Another one? I miss the days
when you could just walk
outside and your biggest fear
was getting stabbed in the neck.
Okay, no one panic.
Remember, they can't come
inside unless they're invited.
Oh, wait.
That's vampires and me.
I can't wait around, y'all.
I'm going on a bar crawl
with Lionel Richie
and Lionel, he's all about punctuality.
Otherwise, hello?
It's me he'll be looking for.
- Earl, no!
- Excuse me, sir,
do you have a minute for
Rest in peace, Earl.
Taken seconds before his time.
Come on, let's go out
through the kitchen.
There's another one out back!
I threw a garbage can in front of her,
but it only made her more cheerful!
Earl, what happened out there?
Is she gone?
Don't worry.
Everything's okay.
Unless you are the North
American honey bee.
Oh, no, they got to Earl!
Look here: for only $19 a month
Everybody run.
Or just walk at a moderately fast pace.
No, you see, the American honey
bee needs a little sympathy
Have a nice day.
(Peter Bjorn and John)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
(cash register bell dings)
Mmm, cookies and whiskey.
My favorite after-school snack.
Loving that we turned
your childhood trauma
into a thriving business.
Now if we could just cash in
on your years in juvie.
It'll come to me.
(tablet ringing)
Ooh, gotta get that.
It's either Randy
or Han clicked "Find my iPad.
"
- (laughs)
- (tablet beeps)
Hey, Max.
Wanted to call you
before you opened the dessert bar.
You know, while you're
still a little sober.
Hey, Randy! How was the gym?
It was back and bi's, right?
Well, you should know,
you set up my iCal.
Hey, Max, did you get
my text about tonight?
(gasps) No, we didn't get it, did we?
Um, I think he just sent it to my phone
since I'm the only one
of us dating him.
Let me look.
Abs, abs, pecs, penis
oh, here it is.
Yeah, I'd be down for a
face-to-FaceTime movie night.
Ooh, anyone in the mood for
something Brendan Fraser-y?
Not even Brendan Fraser's parents.
Well, I'm not watching
anything unless someone
gets kicked in the nuts in the trailer.
It can be a woman, I'm open.
Well, I'm not.
You know what?
I have an idea.
How about I set you up with someone?
I think I have the perfect guy for you.
A gay guy who doesn't
mind loud chewing?
Um, I'm sorry my teeth
aren't as soft as yours.
Tyler's an up-and-coming associate
at our New York office.
And I'm pretty sure
he's my Secret Santa.
Don't pity set me up.
I like to think I'm above that.
But I'm not! I'm in.
Hey, girls.
Raise your hand if you're
super depressed today.
Don't engage.
Just ignore him
like he ignores the word "no.
"
Did someone just say, "Yes"?
Randy, I have to call you back.
There's a sexual predator
that needs my attention.
Hey, Oleg.
What's up, R-Dog?
Can I talk to you man-to-man
about a pretty serious
Bye, guys!
(tablet beeps)
(sighs)
together: What?
Sophie wants me to get rid of
my beloved Toyota Yaris.
That car is a part of me.
It is the yin to my wang.
What if we just cement the
door to the diner closed?
Oleg, Han is looking for you, man.
And he's really mad because
well, that's when I stopped listening.
Sorry, Earl, what'd you say?
I stopped listening
after you said "Han.
"
We would need a very strong cement.
Like, brick with cement over it.
Oleg, did you really think you
could pass this off as you?
You don't wear glasses.
I thought there was something
different about you.
I've never seen people
work so hard at not working.
(car horn honks)
Hey, everybody!
Take a look at my sweet ride.
It's a minivan.
I've been test driving this bad boy
with this other bad boy all day.
For six hours.
We went through
every Wendy's drive-thru in Queens.
I wrote "Help me" on a napkin.
But nobody did.
I wanted to see if all seven
of the cup holders worked.
And now we can drink
Diet Coke as a family.
You want me to give up
my sexy Yaris for a minivan?
Why don't I just drive around
in a uterus with wheels?
I'm not asking you to buy a Prius.
Oleg, all we have to do
now is sell the Yaris.
Are you allowed to sell evidence?
Okay, Jose, you can
show me how it corners
on the way back to Coney Island.
Then can I please go home?
(laughs) This guy's hilarious.
He's been saying that all day.
Tyler, hi.
I'm so sorry we're late.
Someone jumped in front
of our subway car.
I keep telling you to stop doing that.
There was a coupon for a
free falafel on the track.
You must be Max.
Guilty as charged.
But never convicted.
And you must be Caroline.
Wow, you are even prettier
than your Facebook pictures
I definitely wasn't
trolling through.
I do what I can with a shadeless lamp
and an iPhone 2.
(laughs)
You're waiting for one more?
Uh, nope.
My boyfriend's in my purse.
Well, my boyfriend's
a poster of Tom Hardy,
but this is sadder.
Hey, Randy.
You look nice tonight.
It's the "hefe" filter.
Are these prices?
'Cause they're all two numbers.
Don't worry, it's on me.
Can we have a kids menu?
My girl may want noodles and butter.
热门英文电视剧
老友记 Friends摩登家庭 Modern Family绝望主妇 Desperate Housewives破产姐妹 2 Broke Girls权利的游戏 Game of Thrones黑镜 Black Mirror爱,死亡和机器人 Love, Death & Robots杀死伊芙 Killing Eve第二十二条军规 Catch-22神盾局特工 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.豆瓣高分英文剧
瑞克和莫蒂 Rick and Morty老友记 Friends火线 The Wire怪诞小镇 Gravity Falls探险活宝 Adventure Time with Finn and Jake无耻之徒(美版) Shameless飞出个未来 Futurama欢乐一家亲 Frasier 成长的烦恼 Growing Pains兄弟连 Band of Brothers飞哥与小佛 Phineas and Ferb风骚律师 Better Call Saul少年正义联盟 Young Justice亿万 Billions咱们裸熊 We Bare Bears副总统 Veep鬼屋欢乐送 Ghosts伦敦生活 Fleabag绅士杰克 Gentleman公关 Flack梅尔罗斯 Patrick MelroseCopyright © 2021 TaiCiShe.com 版权所有。 联系我们