This is it, Max.
The first private party we've booked in our cupcake shop.
What? You said it was a private party, and this is a party I keep near my privates.
Fine, but they can't smell it on your breath, So eat a mint after.
No need.
It's peppermint Schnapps, 'cause I think ahead.
I think this calls for a "First party" dance.
First par-tay who gonna have a first par-tay? We gon' have a first par-tay That's the exact same dance you did When the Humane Society sent you free puppy address labels.
Address labels Who got doggies on an envelope? Who got doggies on an envelope? I need another sip of this Wish I had something stronger Max, I'm sorry.
I can't help it.
I'm just so excited my genius marketing ideas are finally starting to pay off.
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! If you aren't listening, Cupcake Max can't teach you how to decorate.
It's weird how sex is so great, and yet, it makes these.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh Ho ho ho! Talking to you, Max.
I know.
What's up, Andy? I brought some Christmas candy from my shop for the diner.
Oh.
Look, Max, Santa did come.
From just a kiss? Well, you didn't see what she was doing with her hands.
I taught her that.
That's my gift to you.
Merry Christmas.
Hey, is everything okay with your shop? 'Cause the landlord came into my store today and mentioned you guys hadn't paid your rent.
If there's a problem, I'd be more than happy to help.
Well, the fact is, we just don't have-- Don't have a clue why our online payments just never go through.
Technology, right? You used to be able to shake the mailman's hand.
Now it's all holograms and lasers.
Grandma's right, those were the days.
It was a more honest time.
Okay.
Well, I gotta go.
A kiss for Caroline.
Oh, that was a new kind of kiss.
I liked it.
Max taught me.
What's with the lies? Just tell him the truth.
We can't pay our rent, life sucks, and you need wine before oral.
No need.
We still have two other private parties set up for this month: The Quinceanera for that pregnant girl, and then her baby shower.
Plus, the holidays are coming, so we should get our decorations up asap, or Santa won't know where to find us.
Oh, he'll know where to find us.
We'll be the two evicted girls eating fruitcake out of a Dumpster.
Oh, look, here comes one of the reindeers now.
You look like a Korean coat rack.
Everybody can stop looking.
We found the Grinch.
No wonder it's so angry, it's working for minimum wage.
Oh, you're hanging the Christmas decorations.
I already put up the mistletoe.
Where? Let's just say it's very well-hung.
Well, all my checks are in, so I have to run and make a cupcake delivery.
Here, take this and put it in the till.
I did a cupcake run last night too.
- Wait, who orders cupcakes at 2:00 a.
m.
? Um, my friends.
You don't have any friends.
I have so many friends.
Who are your friends? Some people I know.
Then how come I've never met them? Well, they don't like you.
But they don't know me.
They don't like what they've heard about you.
But who would they have heard things from but you? Maybe from my other group of friends.
They don't like you either.
Later.
Max, you can turn around.
That's right, I followed you.
Sorry for following you.
It's just, you have the hair and jacket of a woman.
In a good way.
Did you actually think that was me? My beard is much thicker.
Well, where are we going? Why are we in this seedy building that smells like marijuana? Oh, my God, is this where your mom lives? You think my mom lives indoors? Okay, look, for the last few nights, my dealer calls me after she sells pot to people, and then I sell those people the munchies they need.
Max, this is New York.
That's illegal! No, giant sodas are illegal.
This is me selling cupcakes to make our rent.
And besides, it's not a big deal.
Pot's legal in Washington, Massachusetts, Colorado, and California.
Well, thank you for the stoner's summary of the last election, but we don't live in any of those places, and I do not approve of pot at all.
It makes people lazy and lethargic, and drains all one's ambitions.
God, you're fun.
Look, on the other side of this door is money to help us make the $600 more we need for rent.
It's totally up to you.
Should I knock, or not knock? What's good, Max? Hey, Keefer.
This is my friend Caroline.
Pleasure, my goddess.
Come on in.
I just broke out some dank nugs.
Oh, thanks, but we actually just had some dank nugs.
First of all, that's your new nickname, and, Keefer, I don't want to rush you, but me and dank nugs have to get home.
Okay, cool, I'll be right back with the cash.
Second-hand smoke, second-hand smoke.
Second-hand nerd, second-hand nerd.
Here you go, they were feeling kinda generous.
Nice to meet you, nugs.
Nice meeting you too.
Peace.
There.
A hundred bucks.
Oh, my God, Max, that's a hundred-dollar bill! How easy was that? And we didn't even have to open the shop.
I mean, what is the problem with doing this? You're right, I overreacted.
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