How could ketchup get this hard? You just hold it in your hand like this, and say You are the biggest ketchup I've ever had.
Hey, everybody.
I got it, I got it.
Don't panic.
At least you caught it in the early stage.
No, I got the papers so we can see if our ticket win the lottery.
Fine.
If we win, I will get an eighth of my trust fund back.
Come on.
Now, who's got our ticket? I've got the ticket.
I put it here.
I figured it's for everybody else gets lucky.
By the way, if we win, I'm gonna buy a condo right next to Great Adventure and go there everyday drunk.
Also put a soda fridge in my garage for show.
Earl, what are you gonna do with your share if we win? Well, I'll get out of this club chop as fast as I can, and set me up with some kind of Hugh Hefner situation.
Here we go, for the big money.
Woo.
If I win, hello Netflix subscription.
We need a six, a ten, a five, a 12 and a nine.
And the first number is¡Â6! And the second number is 47.
Good thing I didn't pay my share of the tickets yet, suckers! Before I forget, I printed up more of our cupcake business cards So we can hand them out at the Williamsburg crafts fair.
Oh, can't wait Me and you handing out free cupcakes stuck between hipsters selling crochet iPad sleeves and salt peppers and salt pepper shakers.
We are not just giving them away for free.
It's marketing.
One person eats it and spreads it around their friends.
So we are herpes.
Hello, Sophie.
If you looked any sweeter, you would fire up my diabetes.
Oh, Earl.
You wouldn't be the first man to lose a limo over me.
Sophie, I'm surprised to see you in here.
Stutter buzz says you and Oleg are no longer together.
Wow, this little girl likes to gossip.
Yes? Won't you scutter your little butt over there and get me the menu the way you are supposed to? Hey, Max, Caroline.
Come see me in my booth.
Are we over here so Oleg can't see you through the kitchen window? What is this? Diner or back issue of Cosmopolitan magazines? I grew up reading Cosmo.
I mean, what a six-year-old doesn't need to know? The hidden male erogenous zones.
It's the nipples, the end.
I came to give you girls a cleaning job tomorrow.
We can't tomorrow.
We are doing the crafts fair.
We are turning down a real paying job to go to the crap fair? Yes, it's important that we focus on the cupcake business.
And you can't spell "focus" without "us".
Or FU.
Hello, Sophie.
Hello, Oleg.
So, do you miss the sex? Oh, you know what? We should go.
No.
We are having a conversation here.
And besides, the sex was not that good.
Oh, it was that good.
It wasn't that good.
Please, I beg you.
Let us go.
You can go.
I'm kind of into it.
Like, it's like a dirty Downton Abbey.
So why are you still standing there giving me those sad, cow eyes in that brown velure.
Because it's a good look on me.
And because I'm waiting for you to admit that you came here because you miss the sex.
I miss summers in Minsk.
I miss smoking in hospitals.
But I don't miss the sex.
Fine, then.
What would you like to eat? I'll have my usual sausage.
Ok, ding.
It's ready.
Max's homemade cupcakes.
Max's delicious homemade cupcakes - Let's move this along.
Max's homemade cupcakes.
- Max.
come on.
Could you at least try and have a better attitude at the crafts fair? I was doing fine until my hair got gang feather by that girl from that church of good vibes.
Hi! I'm from the Funnel Cake booth back there and your little table is sadder than watching the notebook at a funeral.
Hey Dutch girl, why don't you go stick your finger in a dyke.
I'm sure you can find one over near the plus sized in them.
Max, please.
We are all business woman here.
Yeah.
Some of us wearing table cloth on their heads.
Just so you know they make shift tables cause we are just starting out.
We've only been in business eight months.
Heidi, how long have we been funneling? Everyday 24-7 for the past three months.
And we already have a booth.
Yeah we do.
I have to say you girls really take the fun out of funnel.
Actually we put the fun in the funnel.
See? You can't start "funnel" without "fun".
Or FU.
Three months and they've already had a booth.
We're behind.
Max's homemade cupcakes.
Take this! See? Success! Scaring people into participating isn't success.
It's Scientology.
Calling Sophie we're taking that job.
You'd better have a good reason you're late, because I managed to get here on time despite removing the disease pigeon feathers from my hair.
I do.
So today when we were cleaning up that apartment and I had my hands in a total stranger's toilet, I realized if we're really gonna be successful, we've got to think outside the bull.
So after I thoroughly washed my hands, I know they never really come off though, right? Off your soul, I mean.
I made a call to a connection I know and got us a real cupcake job.
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