Thank you so much for setting this interview up, Dan.
- I really appreciate it.
It's perfect.
- My pleasure.
Look, this is a walk in the park.
This is a nice casual conversation between two friends.
- Today, America is a guest in your home.
- Welcome, America.
The thing to keep in mind is Janet needs this more than you do.
That is so true.
I mean, she's kind of a lightweight now.
- We're doing her a favor.
- She's a dud.
You know what? We got to prep.
Prep time, let's go.
- Okay.
- The song that offended half of Europe? It didn't offend half of Europe.
Okay, fine.
Well, I have to tell you, Janet, that was a lighthearted parody.
On the campaign trail, you and Andrew were all smiles, but behind the scenes you were fighting like snakes in a bag.
You're a fraud and a liar, ma'am.
- Wow.
What? What are you doing? - I'm hitting you.
Guys, we're prepping for a puff piece, not for a roast.
Right.
What is she wearing, by the way? She's wearing a navy jacket.
It's conservative and desperate at the same time.
What? Look at what I'm wearing.
Do we know what she's wearing yet? Can we find out? We are gonna go in there in just a moment.
- They're expecting a puff piece.
- Right.
There's the bluff puff which we're gonna start out with.
You're her friend.
You went to high school together.
You guys like each other.
Then we switch right over to rough puff.
Nobody does rough puff like you.
Rrr.
Give me that rough puff.
- All right, Puff Daddy.
- Ooh.
What is this one doing? He is moving a legless horse.
- Oh, Catherine.
- Miss Ryland.
It is such an honor to meet you.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
- I'm such a fan of yours.
- Thank you.
I actually am hoping to study broadcast journalism.
Right now I'm studying film studies and postmodern dance.
How wonderful.
We'll have to talk about that - when the cameras are rolling.
- I would love that.
I'm taking this really cool class where we sort of debate current issues through movement.
- Let's get you miked up.
- Oh.
Oh, my God.
This is a problem.
- Look at this.
- For the poof, you mean? Put your hands in your pockets.
Looks like I'm masturbating if I got my hands in my pockets.
Put the blanket over it, or is that too FDR? Can you guys please kneel down? 'Cause I feel like I fell into a well or something and it's hurting my neck.
Okay, they're gonna bring up the rafting trip.
Well, I took my ex down to the river and I tried to smash his head in with a rock and then drown-- - This is Cody Marshall.
- Cody Marshall.
- He's the producer for "First Response.
" - Hi, Cody Marshall.
I'm sorry, am I interrupting a team prayer meeting? We're just doing a height thing.
- It was nothing.
- Okay.
Good luck, everyone.
Thank you so much.
Very kind.
Thank you.
Thanks for being here.
We really appreciate it.
Okay, she's wearing a bluish dress like she vomited flowers all over herself.
- She's kind of a frumpy librarian.
- Okay.
All right.
- Yes! All right, we're in business.
- What? Just confirmed-- a leaked e-mail.
Her ex-husband promising access for business favors.
- He actually brags about it.
- I know.
- It's almost too painful.
- Brags about access.
Just drag her in with the kindness, then turn great white and start taking chunks out of her.
She's not much of a meal.
- Oh, is it Greg? - Gary.
Gary, we're all set up, so if you can Yeah, great.
Yeah.
- Madam Vice President.
- Janet Ryland.
Gosh, I think the last time that we saw each other was at the - The Correspondents' Dinner.
- The Correspondents' Dinner.
That's right.
I think you've grown since then.
Either that or you've gotten shorter.
Oh, well No, it's me.
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