Corrections by Elderfel So vice president Meyer is under pressure today, Rod.
That's right, Vic.
She fired one of her secret service men because he smiled.
He wasn't fired, he was reassigned.
This doesn't look good for the VP's chief of staff Amy Brookheimer.
Amy, you listening to Crock FM right now? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing.
Well, don't sweat it.
I can still bust some moves in this town.
Bust some moves? Really, Mike? I have a black belt in Mike Kwan Do.
All right, sir, no.
Okay, okay.
Hey, hey, easy, dough boy.
Hands off the suit.
Uh-oh, blame me Brookheimer.
Stop laughing there, Vic.
That's treason.
- Hello? - Dan.
You must have a huge schadenboner over this Amy flack.
Oh, I take no pleasure in my colleague's very public, brutal I'm trying to watch TV.
Would you please move? And probably career-ending humiliation, Jonah.
God, she is gonna go ape-shit menstrual over this.
Hey, I'm on the phone with AT&T.
Can you stop shouting "menstrual"? Yeah, you know, she'll probably go a little menstrual.
Yeah, she probably will.
Although, when you think about it, - it's actually kind of worse for you.
- Is that right? Well, the VP'S office is a cataclysm on spin cycle.
And then you got that pregnancy rumor flying around like the contents of a broken fucking condom.
It's gonna be last in and first out and you're a dead Dan walk what the fuck? This is going in with the dirty dishes, man.
For fuck's sake.
If this is broken, I'm adding it to your fucking rent.
Please call in on this one.
Should Amy Brookheimer go? But the bottom line is, you keep the streets safe, I'll keep your budget safe.
Well, I was gonna say that brings a smile to my face, but that would be safe, wouldn't it, ma'am? That's very funny, Bill.
You're fired.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Hey, ma'am, it's leave o'clock.
Okay, yes.
I'm afraid I have to go, gentlemen.
Thank you so much.
Let's be cheerful out there.
Mike, this is not a story.
Collins made a bunch of faces, he was reassigned.
That shouldn't be news.
How in the hell did this happen? It's the secret service, for Christ's sake.
"Secret" as in shut the fuck up.
And "service" as in you work for me, okay? So why don't you shut the fuck up? We have an enemy and I want a name and a severed head that answers to that name, or would if it could still talk.
All right, I'm gonna be in my office.
Alone! Ooh, Gary, did the veep just bitch-slap you with a door? She didn't mean that.
She's got a lot on her mind today.
Oh, yeah, you mean like firing Amy? Or someone who's undermining the president by back-channeling Macauley.
- That's bullshit.
- Okay, I need to tell you guys something.
Oh, what, is she out of hand sanitizer again? I can't say this.
I can't tell you this.
Gary, why are you talking in cliffhangers? Selina's had a miscarriage.
Well, this is good for us.
- Nicely done, Dandroid.
- How is she? Free from a major fucking political headache, I'd say.
That's deep space cold, Dan.
Explains why you piss liquid nitrogen.
Okay, Ted.
I'll call you back, then.
So that's What? What's going on? Uh, I was telling the guys about my riding mower I got.
Wow, Gary.
That was quick.
Look at that.
Okay, everybody.
Please come into my office.
White House is in the house.
* Everybody say way-o! * The skyscraper of shit has arrived.
Madam Vice President, top story today is that viral sensation that's sweeping the nation.
What are you talking about? - May I? - No, you may not.
Okay.
It's tagged "Selina Sell-Outta.
" Selina Meyer, has this veep lost control? - Are, are, are.
- She says she's an environmentalist, but she vetoes environmental protection.
She sets up a clean jobs task force that includes not one, but two oil men.
I'm gonna tell you the truth.
What is the mental state of a veep that fires a man for smiling? - I love this part.
- Could you I am Selina Meyer.
And I don't have any idea what's going on in my office.
All right, pack up your limbs and get the fuck out, Jonah.
- Get him out.
- Hey, don't shoot the messenger.
- Is punching allowed? - Oh, you wouldn't stand a chance.
I have a much longer reach.
- Did everybody get a chance to see this? - No! I mean, how are we gonna shut this negativity down? - Amy, what are we gonna do? - Yeah, well, it's inaccurate.
Technically, the secret service guy was reassigned.
Yeah, and technically we didn't put two oil guys - on clean jobs task force.
- Oh, yeah, I see.
And technically this is a fully functioning office, too.
Well, that secret service clown has obviously leaked us.
That's right, Mike.
Good.
You know what? You're gonna have to go talk to him, okay? You are the closest to normal we've got going in this office right now.
Thanks, I think.
Okay, there's a White House request to publish all the secret service office personnel records.
Are you kidding me? They want our records now? What are we gonna do? What? Well, we have to release those.
And that has got me thinking why not release all of our fucking records? - Full disclosure.
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