Corrections by Elderfel Why on earth am I spending my lunch break at the great Governor Chung's book launch? Because it's better than watching Gary drip that fucking noodle juice down his chin.
God, I'm gonna snort a line of tzatziki and go.
I am so mired in filibuster reform, I've got no conversation.
- Do you know Chung? - Not really.
- Heh-hey! - Dan, my man.
Governor.
Good to see you, my friend.
- How are you, sir? - I'm very well.
- Oh, and you must be Amy.
- Yes.
So, Dan, how's it working out with the V.
P.
? 'Cause if you ever wanna step several rungs down the ladder, I could always use help from a fellow Daniel.
Dan only climbs up ladders.
Yes, but sometimes you have to go down to go up.
I assume the vice president would be too busy.
Yes.
She sends her apologies.
- She's prepping for "Meet the Press.
" - Ah.
I'll be on "Face the Nation.
" But everyone will be watching her, so I guess I can just wing it.
- Shall I sign a book for her? - No 'kay.
I'd better be going around myself, make sure everyone gets to touch the hem of my garment.
Dan, the man.
All right.
"You have to go down to go up.
" - What a jerk.
- I'm gonna steal that, because he who speaks in maxims Can sound wise.
This is good.
This is like cornbread.
Hello, children.
- Hello, senator.
- You looking for some fresh backs to stab? Oh, Senator Doyle, it's all part of the game.
Yeah, well, I'll tell you, you wanna play a game, Danny? Why don't you try working an iPad with your dick? No, he's already got carpal tunnel in that area.
You have nothing constructive to say to me, Amy? Is this about clean jobs? Oh, is that what they call it still with two oil guys on it? Wow, you're gonna have to buy a lot of spray cans to paint that turd gold.
Everyone has limits to their power, senator, even the vice president.
Yeah, and I have the power to withdraw, which is what I'm gonna do right now.
When he said withdraw, he's he's not talking about withdrawing from filibuster reform, though, right? - No! No! - What do you think he's talking about? I assumed it was withdraw from the conversation.
Who uses withdraw as a fuckin' verb besides Catholics and butlers? Maybe the Israeli military every once in a while.
Yeah, you think I don't know? You're fucking with me.
No.
Come on, let's just head back.
Oh, no, no.
No way.
I'm staying right here.
You gotta network to get work, baby.
All right? Chung for change.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
We've got jobs.
- Clean jobs.
- Clean jobs.
Filibuster reform.
- Yeah, hit that hard.
- Right.
You know what we need? We need some normal, regular-people stuff.
I got an idea.
You could talk about how you always get a sweaty upper lip underneath studio lights.
That shows you're normal.
I'm really talking about a different kind of normal, Gary.
Oh, okay.
Small talk's gonna happen at the end, right? - Right.
- Gregory's a Redskins fan.
- He'll probably bring up football.
- Football.
And I am a Ravens fan, so Madam vice president, how are your Ravens doing this year? My Ravens are gold and I'll tell you why.
Because we have Joe Flacco as our quarterback.
- Yes, yes.
- And Well, the Redskins have a great running game this year and, honestly, that receiving corps over there, Anquan Boldin, not looking good for you.
Anquan? A receiver on the Ravens.
Okay, well, I'm not gonna remember that.
- That's not good.
- It doesn't matter.
You wanna bet a beer that the Ravens will win.
- Beer makes me so gassy.
- You can talk about that about how it always bloats you, beer.
- Uh-huh! - Uh-huh! - That's a good one.
- How was Chung? Did he do this thing where you don't know if you're supposed to hug him or crucify him? Which, by the way, makes me wanna crucify him.
- I did not stay for his speech.
- Let me see this.
"The Good Fight.
" - I know.
The title - Puh-lease! Sue? - Yep.
- Handle this for me.
- Do you want me to shred it? - Yeah.
- Should I fire up the shit eater? - Yeah.
No, no.
Wait a second.
He scrawled something in the front for you.
"To Vice President Salina Meyer" with an "a" "from an admiring wannabe.
" What an e-hole.
Changed the "a" to an "e.
" What a bunch of Washington bullshit that is.
I am so tired of hey, Gary, I I mean, wannabe? He's obviously making a joke, right? He doesn't really think that he's some sort of credible vice presidential candidate.
Mm, charismatic war hero.
Yeah, but, I mean, the president always sticks with the incumbent veep.
Plus, he doesn't wanna look like he made a massive error picking you.
Well, that was lovely.
- He's stuck with me is that what - I don't mean it like that.
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