1
[GIRLS LAUGHING AND SCREAMING]
No.
No, go away.
I don't have time for this, all right?
I have kids.
Just watch the damn show
when you're supposed to, okay?
Amy.
Amy!
See? Thanks a lot.
Way to go.
Amy!
Military school?
You said that you weren't going back.
Why did we even bother getting engaged?
Marry me before you leave, dumbass.
You love me, right? Then
what's the point in waiting?
Get off the bus, Carl!
I love you!
[NESSA] Saw you took
the "For Rent" sign down.
[SIGHS] It's about time I got
something of my own for a change.
He come with the place too?
[FIONA] What should I say when
I talk about you to other people?
Am I your girlfriend?
Are you a homosexual, Ian?
Any of you queers sick of this bullshit
and want to get out of here?
[GENEVA] It's on YouTube.
It's already got, like, 1,000 hits.
Seriously?
[KASSIDI] He's like a prophet.
And he's super hot too.
Like hot gay Jesus.
So big,
and we do it in God's name.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[IAN] My god's a faggot, a junkie,
a whore!
[EXPLOSION]
[ROCK MUSIC]
Is he off his meds?
How the hell would I know?
Everyone up!
I need sheets.
I need lots and lots of sheets.
[CROWD YELLING]
- [GROANS]
- [MAN] Debbie!
Well, what would the surgery cost?
[PATEL] It'll run you at least $50,000.
[FRANK] I was hoping there was
something I could do to help.
[SEERY] We don't have enough fathers
- on our PTA.
- [FRANK] Sign me up.
Pimp my ass.
Now tell me how much you made last year.
Two grand, maybe,
and I don't pay taxes.
Ah!
Oh, you got a niece?
My sister's kid.
Xan.
Any sign of Xan's mom?
I'm giving my shit-bag
half sister two more days.
Hey, why don't you come stay
with me for a couple days?
- That'd be cool.
- Cool.
Those rich, white, liberal
parents at your school,
we gotta take advantage of that.
They'll be gone.
We know the code.
You got the code, right?
[KEYPAD BEEPING]
[ALARM BLARING]
Fuck!
- [PHONE RINGS]
- You gonna get that?
No.
[ALARM BLARING]
[SIREN WAILING]
[ROCK MUSIC]
Think of all the luck you got
Know that it's not for naught
You were beaming once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
Round up the friends you got
Know that they're not for naught
You were willing once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
[RATS SQUEAKING]
[JACK BERRY'S "BAD DOG" PLAYING]
Well, you can write
your name in the water
[SIREN WAILING]
But you ain't hardly got the sand
And you can lead your
sheep to slaughter
But you won't get my helping hand
- [GROANS]
- And you can love your maker
[PHONE CHIMES]
From the top of every
post that you place
And you can weigh your bacon
But keep your goddamn
grease off my plate
But you keep saying
I'm built for a cage
- [FRANK] Oh, shit.
- I have been all along
Good reason, there's
a real good reason
My bite is just as big as my bark
'Cause I'm a bad dog
[ZIPPER ZIPS]
Morning.
- You're up early.
- Yeah.
What you doing?
Paint touch-ups for the appraiser.
Want this place to look great
so he says it's worth
a bazillion dollars
and I get a big fat loan for Ian's bail.
Well, keep wearing that outfit,
and you'll get anything that you want.
You think that's, uh
Is that ketchup or blood?
That could be either.
- Doesn't matter now.
- [CHUCKLES]
We still going to Costco later?
Yeah.
Text me when you're ready.
Okay.
Have a good day at work, dear.
[CHUCKLES]
[PHONE RINGING]
[AARON RIZZO'S "JERICHO" PLAYING]
Shit.
Say, Lord
Save my soul
Ain't got no love
I'm a dollar short
I ain't got no place to go
Don't you know
That down in Jericho
The ocean's dry
No water here to wash me
Of my sins
Yeah
[HORN BLOWING]
Graveyarders, shift's over!
Day crew, let's go!
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Night crew, paychecks!
Thanks, Jacob.
Don't spend it all in one place, Jugs.
- Breakfast?
- Ooh, let's do it.
I'm starving.
- [MOANING]
- [FUNKY MUSIC]
Brother, sister
- Yeah?
- No, no.
Superman
Okay.
- Okay.
Okay, now.
- [FRANK GROANS]
Mr.
Superman
[BOTH GASPING]
- [GRETA SIGHS]
- [FRANK LAUGHS]
[BOTH SIGH]
Whew.
[GRUNTS]
See you later, Greta's vagina.
Thanks for letting me
be of service to you.
[GRETA LAUGHS]
You're a funny guy.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Stay as long as you want.
I gotta get in the shower.
Oh, I got you a great shirt.
[SHOWER RUNNING]
[GRUNTS]
[PHONE CHIMES]
- [jaunty music]
- [MAN HUMMING]
Hey, doll, I gotta get going.
[GRETA] Okay.
Text you the next time Hal's out of town.
You hear that, Hal? You're a lucky guy.
Taught her a few new
tricks.
Hope you like 'em.
You're welcome.
- I've got you!
- I've got you!
- I've got you!
- Got you!
- I've got you!
- Got you!
- I got you!
- I've got you!
Got you!
I've got you!
You don't have him, Huntington.
I just need a better grip, sir!
Are you trying to
screw me out of becoming
cadet lieutenant next year, maggot?
No, sir.
Well, it sure as shit looks like it.
Drop that cadet, pissant.
- [GRUNTS]
- Jesus.
Not literally.
Sorry, sir.
Sorry, Raul.
I have my year-end review with
the general this afternoon.
Do you know what that
might be about, puke-head?
No, sir.
Y-yes, sir.
Uh, me, sir?
I've had the entire school year
to get you plebes into fighting shape,
and yet one big, fat
turd who can't keep up.
I'll do better, sir!
A chain is only as strong
as its weakest link,
and you are my weakest link!
Get out of my face!
Cadets and Dave
Dismissed!
Corporal Gallagher is on the move!
Left! Left! Left, right, left!
Here we go again!
Hi, Carl!
I see you in there!
Walking down the avenue!
Only two more days
until the end of school!
Mrs.
Gallagher is waiting for you!
- [RAUL] Left! Left!
- I'm doing my Kegels.
- [RAUL] Left, right, left!
- I love you!
There are three units on this level
and three apartments upstairs.
All super-reliable tenants.
I put a new roof on last year.
Uh, that was broken
when I bought the place.
I've been looking for a matching piece.
That won't effect the price, will it?
Just gotta take pictures of what I see.
You must be so busy,
everyone trying to refinance
before the rates go up any more.
Been doing ten of these a day.
Wow, that's a lot.
Yeah.
Sure.
And you live around here, in the city?
Uh, Schaumburg, actually.
Oh.
It is so nice out there.
Have you been?
Uh, couple times.
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