1
Next time you miss Shameless,
I cut off your testicles and
feed it to homeless dog
who lives behind Alibi.
But today, you get free pass.
I tell you.
(ROCK MUSIC)
Phillip.
Tito, senior intern.
- Nice to meet you.
- All right, follow me.
I'll show you around.
Filling out the paperwork
to disinherit you
abortion-should-have-beens.
We are gonna start a maid service
that is not only topless,
but also cleans.
We'll corner the market.
Your thing is kind of weird.
It has all this extra skin.
Confronted Caleb about that chick.
He's screwing her.
(LIP) That's a nice stroller.
Where'd you get it?
I found it in the park.
I'm gonna sell it.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Care to join us, doll face?
Sure.
(FIONA) Sorry to bother you.
I work at Patsy's.
I'd like to quit.
We should just shut it down.
If I stayed on as manager,
would you keep it open?
Just keep it afloat.
Think of all the luck you got
Know that it's not for naught
You were beaming once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
Round up the friends you got
Know that they're not for naught
You were willing once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
(MOANING)
(ROCK MUSIC)
Hey you
Come to see me
It ain't ever
Soon enough, baby
Come on, come on
(MOANING)
Aah
Shit!
Shit.
Shit.
Fuck.
Fuck.
You okay, babe? You had a bad dream?
Oh, my God.
Hey, uh, we were just, uh, working out.
Just breaking a sweat.
Sorry, got to get that lock fixed.
Yeah.
Might take a while to
get him back to sleep.
You good to hang, and we
can finish our workout?
No, you know, actually, I
should, uh, I should go.
I got to be at my internship early.
What do you do there?
I work for free for a
bunch of douche bags
whose asses I would've
kicked in high school.
- Sounds fun.
- Yeah.
You know your way out?
Yeah, yeah, I'll figure it out.
Okay.
Come on, babe.
Let's go.
Lights out.
Come on.
No.
No, no, no.
No.
No, no!
You have to love me! That's your job!
Shut up, man!
No, no!
- (MAN) Shut the fuck up!
- (WOMAN) We're sleeping here!
You're dreamin'.
(COUGHING)
You're cryin' in your sleep.
What you dream about?
Pain.
Betrayal.
Fiona and Debbie ripped my
skeleton from my flesh.
Jesus.
Monica was there too.
Sucking my blood through a straw.
And you were there.
- What?
- And your kids.
And you put
whiskey-drenched cotton candy
back where my bones had been.
Who's Monica?
Love of my life.
Bane of my existence.
(ROCK MUSIC)
When you're all strung out
You do look a bit like her.
Hm.
I need an ambition
So sign a petition
You taste like her too.
Probably the tooth rot.
You need a direction
She says I've got depression
Why don't you make up your mind
Slut.
I know you are, but what am I?
Take one day at a time
(PHONE CHIMES)
Come on, Harriet.
Sleeping time.
Pfft.
Is she still scared of me?
Well, she did watch you
bounce Frank's head down
a flight of stairs.
How do you say "he had
it coming" in Nigerian?
What are you doing up?
Caleb won't stop drunk-texting me.
Begging forgiveness?
Begging, then name-calling,
then begging some more.
Nice sex-hair.
Ah, Tinder rocks.
Free sex, any time I want it.
- No strings attached.
- Yeah, but you're female.
Isn't that always available to you?
Maybe.
But Tinder makes it simple.
No confusion.
No misguided weddings.
Now I just bone and go
so I can save my energy for
more important things.
- Like what?
- Like my job.
Patsy's Pies?
Sure you want to be directing
all your freed up energy there?
You're one to talk.
You spend all day working for free.
- Has a point.
- But my bullshit internship
is gonna turn into a
non-bullshit career.
What?
It was no offense.
Wow.
Some taken.
Hey.
Kind of harsh.
- Only 'cause it's true.
- Are you sure about that?
Working for free is called slave labor
last time I checked.
(BELL RINGING)
(SOCIAL WORKER) Good morning!
As a reminder,
this shelter is closing
at the end of the week.
(ALL GROANING)
The Container Store franchise
has taken over our lease.
"The Container Store"? That's a thing?
(SOCIAL WORKER) Volunteers
are passing out
the addresses of other local shelters.
This says the nearest
one is 60 blocks away.
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