You don't think I have enough to do around here? Jesus.
I'm not your fucking mother.
Here's what you missed last week on Shameless.
- Dad.
- Oh, fuck! I need that new trailer.
He's not coming home with your trailer.
What? It's a Gallagher rite of passage, realizing he let you down.
- This is stupid, right? - Right.
- Unless it's not.
- Right.
Next.
- You got married? - Yeah.
What do you want, Tampon Head? Whoa.
You're clean six months.
I just want her to be happy to be home.
You're getting your daughter back.
This isn't like Jackie.
No one answered when I knocked.
Shit.
Oh, fuck, Jackie.
- You want to get out of here? - I'm married.
My wife accidentally cheated on me, so she gave me a pass to get one hand job.
- I have a hand.
- We are in trouble.
I'll be right back.
We're in the middle of a conversation.
The babies.
If you go up those stairs right now, I'm not gonna be here when you get back.
I'm going back to school.
I called in to see if I can get into the dorms early.
You are going to the psych ward or a fucking ER.
Ian.
Ian! Yevgeny! Hey, you came back after all.
I did.
think of all the luck you got know that it's not for naught you were beaming once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? round up the friends you got know that they're not for naught you were willing once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? - Motherfucker! - Jesus! - Where the fuck have you been? - I'm bleeding.
You disappear, you don't return my calls, my texts? I had something come up.
Oh, fuck! - Ouch! - Fuck! Stop hitting me.
God damn it! Enough! Enough with the hitting.
Are you done? Where, Jimmy? Where? I was incommunicado for a while.
For weeks, for months? About a year.
On a boat.
A yacht, actually.
And not a call? Not a text? I was handcuffed to a metal pipe in the engine room, pissing into an old malagueta can.
- For a year? - For a while, yeah.
And then I was slave labor in a Brazilian coca processing facility.
Not much of a facility, really-- just some tents in the rainforest guarded by ladies with moustaches and AK-47s.
Oh, and I caught malaria too.
That knocked me out for a few months.
That's bullshit.
And then I escaped into the jungle when the DEA showed up with the Federale.
God's honest truth, I swear.
- And who the hell is that? - That's my partner.
Your partner, as in your girlfriend? No, my partner as in crime.
And shit, you're the one to talk.
- You got married? - What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to sit on my porch, knitting, hoping one day you'd show back up? You disappeared.
Gone.
Nothing.
I think you deviated my septum.
Good.
You're lucky I didn't have a knife.
Oh, Jesus.
Fuck.
I know.
I know.
You were going to college.
You were-- you were becoming a doctor, and then you just vanished.
So what now? What do you mean, "So what now?" I'm married.
Uh-huh.
Jesus.
You're such a fucking asshole.
- Hey, Mickey.
- Oh, Mickey Milkovich? Say hello to him for me.
Shut the fuck up! Ian did what? Okay, I'm coming.
Yeah.
- I got to go.
- Why? - I have to go.
- Wh-- what did Ian do? So that went well.
You're gonna love Florida, man.
It's fantastic.
No snow, ever.
Nothing but sun and white beaches and palm trees and-- oh, and pools.
Pools in every fucking backyard.
Every backyard.
Can you imagine that? Aw, shit, I should watch my language.
Oh, shit.
Fuck! I said "Shit.
" Ahh! Yeah, Uncle Lip showed me some pictures from when he was down there.
Paradise-- well, I guess he's not really an uncle.
He's more like a best friend/uncle, but, you know, I think that's sometimes better anyway, right? Yeah, it's gonna be great.
Disney World.
Mint mojitos.
Cuban cigars.
Pitbull-- like, music.
You're gonna love it, man, just you and me.
You and me against the world.
Can you feel that? That feeling is all of our problems just disappearing right now.
Just gone.
Just leave it all behind us.
I guess you don't really have any problems.
You're a baby.
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