Think of all the luck you got Know that it's not for naught You were beaming once before But it's not like that anymore What is this downside That you speak of? What is this feeling you're so sure of? Round up the friends you got Know that they're not for naught You were willing once before But it's not like that anymore What is this downside That you speak of? What is this feeling You're so sure of? I wasn't even thinking about getting married until he brought it up.
Now I'm, like, obsessed.
Phillips.
Wasn't he drunk when he proposed? Oh, yeah.
It was like that David Hasselhoff video, eating a cheeseburger.
I never saw that.
Oh, you gotta YouTube it.
It's like a car wreck you can't not watch.
You really want a drunk proposal to be the story you tell your grandkids? My husband proposed to me at the top of the Sears Tower.
Champagne and roses.
Six months into the marriage, I found out he was fucking my sister.
And the moral of the story is? My sister's a bitch.
Other than the presents and the booze, give me three good reasons why you want to get married.
Lots of people who love each other get married every day, Fiona.
I don't know, V.
The way things are between you and Kevin right now, it seems perfect.
Why ruin it? What do you get for that? What? What are they paying for the neck thing, disability? That's what I get.
But look, I can do this.
While I admire your commitment, I gotta tell ya, it's a bit over the top.
I told 'em I get migraines.
Genius, huh? Huh? Try proving I don't have 'em.
I bet it itches like you got crabs in there.
Kev, come out.
You done? Why are we getting married? What? Other than the presents and the booze, can you tell me three good reasons why you want to get married? Not really.
Wait a minute this isn't one of those tests, is it? One of those woman things where I'm supposed to change your mind? If it is, you just failed.
You saying you don't want to get married? No, I mean, things between us are pretty great.
I don't want to ruin it.
What would we tell people? That the wedding's off.
No one's damn business why.
Yeah? Yeah.
Well, great then.
Guess I gotta tell Mama.
Oh, yeah.
That's gonna suck.
She's on her way over to talk about the blessed event.
I am gonna miss getting a free KitchenAid mixer.
Can we still register for gifts, even though you're not getting married? I got a gift for ya.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
Here comes the bride, all dressed in white! Which I think you can still get away with, baby.
Hey, Mama.
Oh, I can't believe it! Oh, I can't believe it! I can't believe this! What happened? Nothing happened, Mama.
We just deci How could you do this to me? Look, Mama, nothing's gonna change.
Kev and I are still together.
Yeah, Mama Don't call me Mama.
We're just cutting out all the paperwork, right? You know, and besides, until gay people can get married in this state, I'm not gonna.
You know this isn't what your father wants.
You know that, don't you? Daddy's dead, Mama.
He doesn't really want anything.
Your daddy, rest his soul, wants to see his little girl married.
Look, Mama That's why he set aside a little something for you for once you finally settled down.
A little what? Your daddy left you money for your first home once you got married.
A house? Yeah, he thought it might keep you from being somebody's baby mama.
How much? I don't know! He wanted the envelope opened on your wedding day.
Now I guess we'll never know.
I just I never knew how much it meant to Daddy.
The world.
Maybe we should reconsider, babe.
But what about the gay people? They got their parades.
They can wait.
It's hot.
I'm hot.
Are you guys hot? Hot! Coming! Hey.
Pee.
Oh, it's fresh? Clean as a whistle.
Thanks, Fiona you have no idea what this means to me.
Means you get to smoke weed and keep your government job, and I get to eat.
It's lasagna, straight from the oven.
It's still warm.
So's this.
Keep it that way, if you want to pass.
Lunch! Eat it or miss it, people! Thanks.
Bye.
What, more piss food? You know it.
All right! Cup-a-lasagna, anyone? Right here.
Who was on dishes today? Uh, I'll get them after lunch.
Hey, Debs, you ready to go to Target? Yeah, sure.
What's that smell? It's either vomit or fancy cheese.
It can be both if you want.
Target? Deb's gonna go help me register for wedding gifts.
I thought the wedding was off? Back on.
Kev know? Uh-huh.
Oh! Hey-hey! Mmm damn.
You tell that girl Sonny I will crap on a paper plate for her if it'll get me some of this grub.
Francis Gallagher.
Yeah.
Drop your pants.
I don't see how that has any bearings on my migraines.
Me neither, but it's on the State form.
Drop 'em, sailor.
Yeah.
Still cold.
Cough.
Again.
Again.
That's weird.
Have you ever done a testicular self-examination? Oh, God, no.
I say leave those three bad boys down there alone.
Yeah, well, that's the problem.
Should only be two testicles invited to this party.
What's this? I need you and your testicles back here tomorrow for a biopsy.
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