Hey, Dad! It says on this map that America's largest sport sock is just three miles down the road.
Are we gonna stop there? I'm sorry, boys, but we only have 'till sundown to return this RV to the rental place.
We'll have to do it on our next road trip, okay? I'm ready for this trip to be over.
I'm tired of being in mobile lock-down, where I can't even call my friends because of spotty cell service! That, combined with the refrigerator door opening every time we make a left and sharing a bathroom the size of a postage stamp! The only consolation for this whole rigmarole, besides the fact we didn't stop at one of those greasy spoon road stop diners, is the fact that you two haven't done anything bustable for a whole week! Seven solid days Are you even listening to me? Well, we were at first, but then you got all echoey and far away.
Oh, I'm gonna go take a nap.
Ferb, Candace is right.
Ferb, Candace is right.
We didn't get a chance to stop at the classic, all-American roadside truck stop diner! You know, the juke boxes, the sassy waitresses the little bowl of mints by the cash register.
Too bad you can't build one.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Hey! There's Perry! Ah, Agent P.
We're sorry, we know you're on vacation, but Doofenshmirtz is driving a big rig not far from your current location.
We need you to reroute your family and catch up to him.
Find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.
Oh, I envy you.
The romance of the open road.
The tire chunks all up and down the shoulder and that ever-mysterious single shoe.
Turn left at next exit.
Hmm, that's odd, but I never argue with a lady.
Hey, what's that? Hey, what's that? That's a CB radio.
I can talk to truckers on it.
Talk to truckers? Do it! Okay.
Uh, breaker, breaker, 1-9.
This is Cheeky Monkey.
Anybody got their flappers on out there? Cheeky Monkey? Oh, that's me.
It's my my handle.
How do you know how to use a CB radio? Simple, I studied this.
"Truck Drivin' Hits.
1975-1975".
Yes, yes, yes, handle it carefully, dear.
Hello? Cheeky Monkey? Oh! Oh! You got someone.
Yes, yes, this is Cheeky Monkey.
You're shaking the windows.
What's your handle, good buddy? Come back.
A handle? Handle, handle.
Oh, my name! Uh, yeah, you got Misfortune here.
Well, hello, Miss.
No, no! It's not Miss, it-it's Misfortune.
Like like one word.
It's like It means bad luck.
It's like It means bad luck.
One word.
So, uh, where are you? Oh, we're running a double nickel on a dime.
Double nickel on aâ Oh, yes.
Very clever.
Well, let's see.
I'm eastbound with a smoky on my 20, on a cab over Louie with I'm eastbound with a smoky on my 20, on a cab over Louie with You know, I'm gonna level with you.
I don't know where I am or what I'm saying, really.
IsâIs there a code for that? IsâIs there a code for that? No worries, Miss.
Just keep your metal up and your rubber down.
Metal up? What kind ofâ Hey! Cheeky Monkey, I-I'm gonna have to call you back.
I'm gone.
You know, you just scored some big man points in my book for that.
Woo-hoo! You just lost them again.
Perry the Platypus, don't start anything because I'm driving and it's really unsafe.
Quit goofing around and sit down! Besides, you should really have your seat belts on! Yeah! Ah, you're probably wondering what I'm doing driving this big rig.
As you know, every Inator of mine has a self-destruct feature, all of which rely on a little formula top scientists refer to as Boom Juice.
I found a cheap deal on a whole truckload of the stuff out here in the sticks.
But I had to drive it home myself because, well, the shipment's a little old and unstable.
Oh, pay no attention to that.
That's just the mandatory early warning explosion alert.
I'll just turn down the sound so we can talk.
Now I can tell you some of my truck driving tales.
Ready? Mom.
Phineas and Ferb.
Bust.
Look.
And one little orphan boy looked up at me with tears in his eyes He said, "Mr.
Trucker Man, you done saved Christmas!" Oh, that's good.
Mom.
Bust.
Boys.
Oh, Lawrence, look.
Candace is sleep-busting again! Aww, that's adorable.
Hon, go back to your nap now.
Go on.
Mom.
Bust.
Boys.
Oh, go on.
Play track three! It's the one where a group of truckers take down a corrupt police force using only their trucks and their saucy colloquialisms.
Delivery! Hey, aren't you two a little young to be receiving a seasoned grill, 300 pounds of coffee, 200 pounds of fatback, four tons of lumber and assorted wheat, rye and pumpernickel breads? Hey, aren't you two a little young to be receiving a seasoned grill, 300 pounds of coffee, 200 pounds of fatback, four tons of lumber and assorted wheat, rye and pumpernickel breads? Think about it.
Age isn't really the issue here, right? You got a point, kid.
So, then I say to him "That's not a penguin.
It's a throw pillow.
" And so he throws it at me.
Turns out it was a penguin and its beak went right into my mouth.
And I'm all, "Egh! Their beak is their nose!" Ugh! True story.
He's a mobile mammal and I bet you a fiver He's eatin' hush puppies and cornâ Perry the Platypus, I can't fight you and drive at the same timâ It's a good thing I installed my Hitch-a-ride-inator.
Aha! Voila, we are locked together.
They do all the driving and I don't have to.
Now, where were weâ Wait.
Hey! Where'd you go? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! No! Hey! Hey, what the heck, man? Oh, my word, there's a truck-driving pharmacist and he's pressing his face up against his windshield.
Oh, that's what I love about you Americans.
Y-You're like big, fun children.
Y-You're like big, fun children.
Yes.
Yes, we are.
Well, how about that! D-Did you ever notice that the hood ornament here is a little dog? Hmm Right there! Red barn! Bingo! Mom, have you seen Phineas and Ferb? Oh, honey, you're still sleep-busting.
Oh, honey, you're still sleep-busting.
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