During your weekend here,
you will explore ways through yoga,
breathing and other mindful pratices
to reconnect with yourself
and your partner.
Also, for a small donation,
we have an on-site shaman
who can heal your chakras.
Small donation?
Sounds like a "chakra con".
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- You're supposed to turn that off.
- I'm sorry.
It's work.
- Okay, so is a marriage.
You know, we traveled all this
way.
The least you could do
is take this seriously.
- I'm sorry.
You're right.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
Oh, my God, that that
crappy breakfast was $55.
- For flax and berries.
- Yeah.
I thought this was supposed to
be one fee up front, all in.
I wish you were all in, Mitchell.
I'm sor I am.
Starting now.
[BELL CHIMES]
That wasn't me.
I have invited the Tibetan
Singing Bowl to ring,
reminding us to all turn down the volume
and find the beauty in silence.
[GROUP CHEERING]
That was unfortunate.
My apologies.
We happen to be
next door to the Royals.
[GASPS] Oh, my God,
we just binged "The Crown".
W-W-Which royals? William and Kate?
Harry and the "Suits" girl?
Actually, it's the Kansas City
Royals.
Spring training,
- their practice field is next door.
- [GASPS]
Growing up a Royals fan,
it was always my dream
to see them at spring training.
So, I just decided,
after the retreat was over,
I'm just gonna swing by,
you know, grab an autograph,
maybe whisper an opinion
in the manager's ear,
be discovered as a great baseball mind.
Then the Yankees would come calling,
and then I'd have to choose
between the team I love
and the the big payout.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
RANDY: Not to worry.
This is
their last day of training,
and they leave tonight.
- Excuse me, question.
- Yes.
Yes, hi.
Will we have
an opportunity to explore
these these beautiful
grounds on our own?
Absolutely.
Tomorrow at sunset.
After goat yoga.
Oh, my God! Can it get any worse?!
Arrgh! Ughh!
What are you doing? I grunted less
when I was giving birth to Joe.
You were pushing six and a half
pounds, I'm pushing 220.
You're dressing younger.
You're exercising.
You only had one breakfast this morning.
- Who is she, Jay? I'll kill her.
- Relax, would ya?
I'm just trying to get in shape.
Okay, but hurry, because we have to go
and pick up Joe at the birthday party.
Wait a minute.
Is that what this is all about
Henry's father?
I don't understand
why you're so insecure
just because he's younger,
stronger, and more rugged than you are.
Go easy.
I'm working on
only one breakfast.
Joe won't shut up about
his new friend's dad.
"Henry's dad is so tough".
Who cares?
He was a stunt double in
a couple of "Bourne" movies.
From the first time Joe went over there,
that guy's been trying
to prove how cool he is.
Joe! Let's go!
Heads up!
- What the hell?!
- Yeah!
He's Jason Bourne!
That's make-believe.
Matt Damon's Jason Bourne.
Growing up, I thought
my dad was the coolest.
And that made me feel good about myself.
I mean, I try to stay with it.
Exactly! Look at you,
you even have a smart watch.
Yeah, the damn thing tells me
when to stand up,
- when to breathe.
- [WATCH BEEPS]
- Your body mass index is
- Nobody asked!
Which have more chromosomes,
potatoes or humans?
Humans, right? Potatoes?!
[LAUGHS]
Oh, Krazy Kups, what can't you teach us?
Are you doing all this to
impress Haley's boyfriend?
Haley's dating this genius
astrophysics professor
who's somehow making her smarter
because, last week,
I called Pluto a planet
and Haley laughed at me.
In pity.
- Haley.
- Haley.
Haley.
Do we think that Haley
is suited to a professor,
because I more saw her
with a Gilligan type?
Come on, now.
Lots of happy couples
aren't the exact same level of smart.
That's true.
We work.
Yeah.
Wait.
When you say, "We work,"
do you think you're smarter
than me or I'm smarter than you?
I think I'm smart enough
not to have this conversation.
Oh, my God!
You do! You think
you're smarter than me!
Okay, hotshot.
How many patents do you have?
Headscratcher TM, Aspirin Gun,
Polite Car Horn that'll
put an end to road rage.
[HIGH-PITCHED] Excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me.
Can we just not get into a whole
thing before this lunch?
What lunch? I just ate a pie.
Your sister is dating
a professor of astrophysics,
and he's coming here today to meet us.
Oh, good, someone to talk to.
I'm tired of dumbing it down
for you chuckle-heads.
Bill, are you on your way?
Stay in the car.
I'll meet you outside.
It was hard for me when Haley
started dating Arvin,
my professor and science hero and
okay, fine, crush.
I was so upset, I went home,
and I may have overindulged
on Bagel Bites.
- [MICROWAVE BEEPS]
- [SMOKE ALARM RINGING]
- Hey.
- Aah!
It's okay.
You're safe.
But I'm gonna need you to come with me.
I don't really think you need Okay.
He was like a superhero.
Is that your dad?
A beautiful not-so-smart superhero.
The last thing I wanted
was Professor Fennerman
finding out I was dating a dummy.
A sweet, chiseled dummy.
Alex, you didn't mention you've
got a firefighter boyfriend.
Yeah! It's great.
"Take that, you fire".
We gotta go.
Oh, but your parents just
invited me to stay for lunch.
Score!
By the way, you look way younger
than your poster.
We really should get going before we
we miss our plans and stuff, right?
- Yeah.
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