Come on.
Why aren't they transferring to me? I look just like you.
Maybe I don't have the scent right.
A few weeks ago, I found a nest of duck eggs.
I, uh I lovingly nursed them, and then, uh, by some sick fluke, Claire was the only one there when the ducks were born, so they imprinted on her.
Oh, I didn't do it on purpose.
- Then make them come back to me.
- Mm.
Who's calling at this hour? Hello? Yes? Luke's been arrested! Well, good morning, Leonard.
Leonar-- I know it's not my well-behaved son, Luke, who'd never take our car out without a license and get arrested.
I took the car for a good reason.
Sarah Fisher's cat died, and she was devastated, so I thought she might make out with me.
I got caught two blocks away from her house.
Everyone is having great luck with girls except for me.
And I mean everyone.
When is a tuba-strap rash not a tuba-strap rash? When it's hickeys.
You know, we're gonna have to ground you, and I was thinking that -- Oh, we're doing way more than that.
Landon has a $300 fine to work off.
We could fight that -- Say the cop was racist.
Even if we lose, it'll start a conversation.
You made a mistake, you pay the consequences, Levon.
Your first job is cleaning out the awesome village I built for my ducks.
Aren't they mom's ducks? Do you really want to test me right now?! Well, you, sir, take your time deciding.
We'll be here just as sure as a coonhound takes a summer nap in the shade of a chifferobe.
OK, now you're just randomly throwing words together from "To Kill a Mockingbird.
" It was a boon year for tomatoes on the farm, or what we're calling Tomatogeddon.
So they made an extra-large batch of Tucker's famous, and we're selling it at the Farmers' Market.
Now, when you say "famous" -- It's known Missouri-wide.
A death-row inmate requested it for his last meal.
Well, at least I'm trying to sell.
What is going on? After buying whatever they're selling, I'm guessing people are plum out of spending money.
Wait.
No.
It's Andrew and Simon.
Thank you.
Oh.
- Hello.
- Oh, hello! Here to try our hand-caught artisanal trout jerky? - No.
- It's selling like hotcakes.
Actually, better.
See the vegan hotcakes stand? Next to the bespoke honey stall.
We should be careful.
This market might be a trick to get a whole bunch of white people together in one spot.
I'm actually glad you're here.
We're looking for a new senior associate, and I was gonna call you.
Call me what? A has-been? "Mitch ado about nothing"? Why am I doing your work for you? Look, on a social level, I find you hopeless, but I always thought you were a good lawyer -- Maybe a great one at the right firm.
Honey, did you bring the other cash box? This one's filled up.
Think about it.
Come on, Joe! I don't want to learn! But you have to learn! And it's so easy.
Look, first, you make the little man, then you tie the rope around its throat -- No! Joe, don't worry about tying your shoes.
That's for big boys.
Don't tell him he can't.
He can't, but he'll be fine -- Kid has thick, beautiful hair.
- Can I get back to work now? - You're working? But it's not between 10:00 and 2:00, Monday through Thursday.
Well, I wasn't gonna tell you guys, 'cause I knew you'd make a big fuss, but the Chamber of Commerce is giving me the Titans of Industry award.
They asked me to make a video for the ceremony about what drives me.
After 30 years and over a hundred thousand hanger rods installed, some people would kick back and relax.
Not me.
I'm Jay Pritchett.
Pritchett's closets.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! How many closets do you need? Yeah.
I can handle that.
- It's great.
- I'm starting over.
- Why? - You guys were bored, and the video obviously doesn't capture my essence.
You think that fellow Titan Ed Fisk, the Lion of Linoleum, would make that mistake? How big is this event? Is there going to be a red carpet? No, but Red Murtaugh, of Red's Carpets, will be there.
I'm walking with giants, Gloria, and that's a good way to get stepped on.
Oh, there are two over there.
Oh, good.
For a second, I didn't think we were gonna find Hey, isn't that Beth and Andy? Um, actually, uh, those two are better.
But all those people would be between us.
Yeah, but, you know, we spent all day together.
- I just -- - Hey.
Hey, you two.
Hey, Andy.
Very cool you're not fat anymore.
Hi! Nice to see you guys! We really should go find seats before the m-- Sit down, please.
Ever since Andy got engaged, things between us have been weird.
Like "a woman with olive skin trying to pull off red hair" weird.
I just wanted to watch the movie and get out of there before it got awkward.
I still think about you.
Me too.
But I'm with someone else now.
I made a commitment.
But do you really love her? Zombie! Got it! Anyway, we really should have told each other how we felt.
Nothing? Really? I could not get out of there fast enough.
What's the rush? Sometimes they put a funny skit thing after all the names.
Hey.
Guys, wait up.
You want to go grab a burger and a beer next door? - Well, I -- - I definitely do.
That movie brought up so much for me.
Plus, I got to take my pill with food.
- Yeah, I'm not so sure -- - You're coming.
- Oh.
- Maybe if you're there, he won't try and do his adorable British character for the hostess.
Will you put this in my veggie burger and not tell me where it is? Hey, Lloyd, it's your dad, A.
K.
A.
your worst nightmare.
Just reminding you the duck village needs to be clean enough to eat off of.
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