- Hi, there.
- Hey.
I'll be your server for tonight.
My name is Brian if you guys need anything.
What's your name if we don't need anything? Patricia.
You're quick, Patricia! Thanks.
So, our specialty cocktail for tonight is a basil-infused mojito.
Oh, yum! We'll take three.
Uh, no.
That's okay.
I'm good.
Come on, now.
Join us for a specialty cocktail - on our specialty evening.
- Yeah.
- Three, please.
- Okay.
If you don't drink it, someone will.
Well, that Brian sure is a cutie, huh? I'd kill to have those lips.
I mean on me.
I mean I want his lips on my mouth.
- Uh, can we just cut to the chase? - He's got great lips.
No, no, no, no, no.
What are we doing here? What is this about? Nothing! We just wanted to have a fun night out - with our daughter.
- Yeah! Just think of us as your friends.
- Yeah! - I don't have 45-year-old friends.
Well, you don't have 45-year-old parents yet, either, honey, so calm down.
Haley has no plan for her future whatsoever.
She's living in our basement, taking community-college classes, and, well, meandering.
So we're gonna take her out.
We'll have some fun.
And then gently ease her into a friendly conversation about her future.
As opposed to the approach that we've taken in the past.
Is this what you're gonna do with your life-- sleep late and take a selfie?! Why are you always criticizing me?! Is this really how you want to start the day?! My day started 5 hours ago.
I am under a lot of pressure! How?! How?! You take three classes a week, and you miss half of them! The parking is tricky! Morning, sunshine.
I saved you some lunch.
I get it, okay?! I'm lazy! God! You know what drives me crazy? Getting these customer-satisfaction calls during dinner.
They change the oil on your car, they want a love letter! I know.
I'm waiting for a call from my doctor's office-- "Please rate your prostate exam.
Would you say you were satisfied?" I hope you weren't.
"I hope you weren't.
" That's a good one, Gloria! Do you know how hard it is to be funny in a second language, Jay? This beautiful lady is very good.
Ay, Darlene, you're learning Spanish? Yes, Shorty and I have been taking classes.
- We're getting good.
- Oh, yeah.
That's wonderful! You said "That's wonderful," right? My Italian helps me.
Why the sudden interest in Spanish? Well, actually, there's something we have to tell you, you know? All right.
How's this? We're-- - We're moving to Costa Rica! - Yeah! What?! When? In a couple of weeks.
The cost of living is so low down there, you know? We found this beautiful place on the water.
It's got its own private beach.
Bathing suits are optional.
But encouraged.
Ay, I'm going to miss you guys.
Don't worry about it.
I give it three months, tops.
You hate the beach.
And you know how humid it is down there? I love the steam room at the club.
It's the same thing, except I don't have to see you sitting there like a pile of melted ice cream.
'Cause you're Tom Selleck in a towel.
I'm just ready for an adventure.
I want to try something new.
Stick around here.
Pick up a check every now and then.
Why do you always have to be so negative? - I think it's great.
- No, you're right.
I'm sorry.
I'm surprised, that's all.
Let's toast this amazing new chapter of your lives.
To mosquitoes the size of your fist.
This is why all your friends move away.
To us, alone at last.
We both look very handsome tonight.
You know, if you-- if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you.
" I couldn't take that chance.
I wanted to get off on the right foot.
Mitchell and I desperately need - a romantic night out to reconnect.
- Yeah.
I don't-- I don't know if it's the stress of planning a wedding, but we've been a little tense with each other lately, huh? Even our friend J'Marcus said how bitchy we've been.
- What-- When did he say that? - Oh, at Pepper's party that night you wore those pants that don't fit you anymore.
Oh, right.
And you brought that bad wine that everybody hated.
- See? We really need this.
- We really do.
Oh, you know, uh, Pepper said - that for our cake tasting, we needed to have-- - Unh, unh, unh, unh.
Remember our rules-- no wedding talk, no Lily talk.
I'm sorry.
No, you're right.
So, just gonna Should we hear the specials again? - We can't ask him a third time.
- Mm-hmm.
You know what I might try when I'm down there? Surfing.
So it's gonna be a closed casket.
My turn.
What are you talking about? I just sunk the 3 ball.
Then you moved the cue ball with your stick while you were telling me how you were gonna move away from Southern California to try surfing.
I didn't touch the cue ball.
Yeah, I know.
But you did.
You're calling me a cheater? You? The guy on the golf course who can't seem to count higher than 5? Maybe I can't keep track of my shots because somebody won't stop talking.
It is in my nature to comment on the bizarre and unusual things I see in the world, like that convulsion you call a golf swing.
You know what? I'm done here.
No, I'm done.
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