Okay, I'll I'll get that.
Hello? Hey, Manny's getting his outfit together for the dance tonight I was just taking some supplies out to the car.
Isn't this exciting, the boys' first dance? Greatest day of my life.
Does Phil have a green pocket square for him? - Teal.
- Teal.
I don't know.
I don't think Phil's really a pocket square kind of a guy.
Wow.
Wow.
Why don't we conference in Mitch? Ay, look.
This might work.
Well, except that it's turquoise.
Oh, and a bra! Do you think the kids in my village have pocket squares? Here we go with the village.
- Dad, you still there? - Unfortunately, yes.
Please ask Claire what time do I need to be at the school to help set up.
- Gloria wants to know - No, I heard.
I heard.
Um, tell her thank you so much, but we have all the help we could possibly need and she doesn't even have to come tonight if she doesn't want to.
- Claire said - I heard.
Hello? - Oh, hey, Mitch.
Where are you? - Oh, we're at the park.
You would not believe how some of these people dress their kids.
Lily's friend just pulled a Britney Spears getting out of a sandbox car.
So Dad's on the line.
Do you have a teal pocket square for Manny? Cam, Manny needs a teal pocket square.
- Oh, I've got teal, I've got aqua, I've got seafoam.
- Yeah, Cam's got one.
- Cam's got one.
- Yes! Oh, you know what? I lent it to Andre.
Uh, he lent it to Andre.
- Flag on the play.
- What's that mean? What's it mean? Now I got to go to the mall.
Is this okay? Oh, hey, Luke has to go to the mall too.
- What? - Phil.
Let's go, Incredible Hulk.
Hey, hey # Hey, hey # # Hey, hey # Hey, hey Hey Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Is that your little girl over there, Lily? - Yes.
Look at her.
- Yes.
Uh, this is a little bit awkward, but she bit Tyler.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my goodness.
I I don't even know what to say.
She's never done anything like that before.
How did it happen? I don't know.
I didn't see it.
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
It's time to play everyone's favorite game.
"Let's blame the gay dads.
" - You know who had straight parents Adolf Hitler.
- Charles Manson.
- Shall we go on? - Naomi Campbell.
I know it happened.
He's got bite marks on his arm.
Oh, wow, yeah.
Oh, gosh.
Someone really sunk their teeth into ya, huh? It's 'cause you're such a yummy little guy.
Yes.
Our daughter didn't do that.
- But he said - Right.
He's probably just confused.
You know who I bet did it, though? Billy.
Rhymes with "Lily.
" Plus, he is very aggressive.
His babysitter is right over there.
She's She's not much of a disciplinarian.
Because I can assure you if our child did something like this we would be on her like white on rice.
And I know that sounds a little bit like a racial slur because we're white and she presumably likes rice but I didn't intend it that way.
Ah, finally.
There's a spot.
Oh.
Guys, I am just bursting with pride right now.
Your first dance.
Soon you're gonna be men.
I want you to know there's more to being a man than just shopping for fancy outfits.
Yep.
Pretty soon you get some hair on your chest.
You start answering the phone, people don't think you're ladies.
Come on.
Today, Miss Daisy.
Actually, Miss Daisy was the one being driven, not the one driving.
- Never saw it.
- It's called Driving Miss Daisy.
You got a real lip on you today, you know that? Hey, that was our spot! What are you doing? You gonna let him snake your spot? Not worth it.
Boys, here's the only thing you gotta know about being a man never let someone take what is yours.
Unless it's just a parking spot and there's plenty of others.
That's sweet, Phil.
You ought to write that down.
You got any lipstick in your purse? I love Jay.
Are you kidding me? He's my boy.
Yeah, he gives me a hard time, but that's the deal with a father-in-law.
The key is, I never let him see just how much it devastates me.
- It's Dunphy.
- That's what I said Dumphy.
No, not "Dum.
" Dunphy.
Dumphy.
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