1
- Dylan?
- Oh, Mr.
D.
You jog here, too?
I'm a half a block from my house.
Are you wearing boots?
Okay, this is less of
a coincidence than it seems.
I've been following you around
for a few days.
It's about Haley.
I know she's in a relationship,
but I love her,
and I think she loves me.
Dylan, I heard about what happened.
I wouldn't read too much into it.
It was only one kiss.
Uh
Oh, no.
Two kisses?
Okay.
I went to Dylan's house
to tell him it wasn't okay
that we kissed, and I ended up
sleeping with him.
I would go back to his house
to tell him it wasn't okay
we slept together,
but where does that go?
[CHUCKLES]
Anyway, I just want to talk to her,
and she won't return my calls.
She's ghosting you?
For an older dude, you always
kept up with the lingo.
Word.
Aw, I'm sorry, man.
You're a good guy.
You deserve
better than being ghosted.
- I'll talk to her.
- You'd do that for me?
Yeah, I'll throw her a gab.
You stab me?
Huh?
Darn it.
I think Luke's messing with me.
[ITALIAN ACCENT] Mama mia!
What is-a wrong-a with-a my arm-a?
[NEW YORK AENT] Fuggedaboutit!
Youse arm's fine!
Ah, then why-a won't you take
a big-a, juicy bite out of it?
Yo, Luigi, I think what we got here
is a communication problem.
See, when I said I wanted
to eat Italian
- And scene.
- And scene.
Bravo!
They just made that scene up
as they were going,
and then at the end,
there was a funny twist.
Okay, for this next scene,
Sherry will play a famous person.
Lou Diamond Phillips!
- Excellent.
- And, Jay, I need an occupation.
I agree.
So, it turns out Manny's fake
Canadian girlfriend is real
and annoying.
Until he goes back to school,
she's staying here
and auditioning to be an improv star,
just like, you know, no one ever.
Boy, oh, boy, did that
summer fly by or what?
- Anyway, off you go.
- Bye, Jay.
I miss already you, papi.
He'll be back in three days
to do his laundry.
- I'll miss you, too.
- Come here, Teddy Bear.
- Mwah!
- Mwah!
- See you Saturday.
- I can't wait.
Okay, I'll be upstairs,
doing space work.
Gloria, quick question
why is that person still here?
Ay! I didn't tell you?
- Don't even.
- The college won't let Sherry
live in the dorm with Manny,
so she's gonna stay here.
I am going to make a delicious
sandwich.
You want one?
I don't want a sandwich.
I want her out of my house.
And I kind of want a sandwich.
This is Manny's
first serious relationship.
I used to tell him,
"I know that one day
you're gonna find a woman
that will appreciate all your gifts.
"
But I didn't know.
You're saying you don't
find her annoying?
No.
I think she's funny.
And don't worry.
She's only gonna stay here
until she can support herself
doing improv.
Well, put her name on
the answering machine,
'cause she's not going anywhere.
We're only lucky enough to get
one Wayne Brady in a lifetime.
Hey.
I just ran into Dylan.
He told me what happened
between you two.
- Look, whatever he said
- Relax.
I know you kissed him again.
Okay.
You clearly inherited
the power of the Dunphy kiss.
Take it from me.
That can
really mess with a man.
You need to stop ghosting him.
[SIGHS] I know.
It's just so hard.
I mean, I'm with Arvin,
who hasn't talked to me since
I told him I kissed Dylan,
and every time I talk to Dylan,
I end up kissing him.
It's very confusing.
Well, Dylan's a sensitive guy.
After all your history together,
he deserves to know where he stands.
You should talk to him.
- Fine.
- I'll tell him to come over.
Use the blowfish emoji.
It means, "Brace yourself
for some bad news.
"
- No, it doesn't.
- Luke.
- [ALARM BLARES ON CELLPHONE]
- Hey, hey, no, no.
I said no more screen time today, okay?
What's so fascinating about
truck videos, anyway?
Ooh, firemen.
CAM: All right, Lily, let's go.
Okay, how late are we
"goat loose in the house" late
or "stubborn cow in the road" late?
You've lived here 20 years.
Please use city time.
Oh, Cal, Cal, Cal, Cal!
No, you're spilling all over the floor!
[SIGHING HEAVILY]
Hey, Lily, can you watch
where you're going?
Yeah, I'm the problem.
Now we're gonna have to
change his shoes.
No, he can't wear his other shoes
because he scribbled on those in crayon
and it looks like a swastika,
and in this day and age
Not just this day and age.
Okay.
His shoes are fine.
They have kids.
They know they ruin everything.
[CHUCKLES]
- Except your life.
- Yeah.
Nice save.
Another Assistant District
Attorney in my office, Trent,
invited us over for lunch,
which is great
because he is looking for a second chair
on a very high-profile case,
and I want in.
You know, I was second-chair washboard
in the Grasshopper High School
orchestra.
Go on.
So, Trent and I have so much in common.
His husband works in a school,
just like Cam,
and they have two young kids.
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