What's my favorite way to relax? Throw on my wireless headphones and disappear into the Nature Channel.
[Instrumental] [Man] The young flatback turtle searches for food on the ocean floor.
This flatback, however- [Phil] The fascinating thing about nature is how, in the blink of an eye, it can go from a scene of total tranquil beauty to raw, primal violence.
Can you seriously not hear me with those things on? It's noise-canceling technology.
Give it a spin.
It's got- - Sweetie, focus, now.
- Mom, why are you freaking out on everyone? Because you are acting very irresponsibly- all of you.
Listen, honey.
Luke has a giant project due tomorrow for school that he hasn't even started, and Haley just informed me she needs 40 cupcakes for her school fund-raiser, also due tomorrow.
I'd like to point out I completed all my assignments on my own and on time.
[Together] Not now, Alex.
I will take the cupcakes.
You do the project.
It's on Vincent van Gogh.
Done! I need you to really stay on him.
Keep him focused.
All right.
I'm actually gonna take a different approach, but- Actually gonna insist that you don't.
Claire, I know you've got your methods, but so do I.
And I'm sorry, but I'm not a micromanager.
Trust me, I can provide Luke with the tools and guidance he needs without, uh, smothering him.
You think I smother our child? It's not your fault, honey.
"Mother" is part of the word.
You never hear of anyone being "sfathered" to death.
I know what Luke's problem is.
He's got A.
D.
H.
D.
[Claire] No.
No, I don't! What is it? I'd tell you, but you'd wander off before I got to the "H.
" Just promise me that you will stay on him until this project is done.
I will, but you might have a little more confidence in him.
Wah! Wah! No one can hear me now.
Whoo! Everybody is stupid except me.
Ha, ha, ha.
I am funny.
[Man] Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey Is this the cutest thing I've ever seen? You out here on the curb with your little telescope, waiting for your dad.
It's not cute.
It's-lt's science.
Tonight is the magnificent Lyrid meteor shower.
It's where the planet Geek passes through the Nerdy Way.
It- Oh, you know I think it's sweet.
Every couple years, Mitchell and his father go out and enjoy one of these showers together.
Oh, I- I wouldn't necessarily put it that way.
I mean, yes, me and my father enjoy it, because we don't share a lot of the same interests.
Like, um, I-I never went to sports games with him.
Probably because you call 'em "sports games.
" Just lose the "sports.
" Just- Just games.
Oh, here comes your shower partner.
Stop it.
I'm kidding.
Have fun with your dad, okay? All right.
See you later.
Don't worry about me.
I'm not.
I'm just saying, if you were.
- Shotgun, sucka! - [Jay Laughing] [Cameron] Make sure your seat is exactly the way you want it, and feel free to play with any of these controls up here.
I have no idea what they do.
But I want mi car to be su car.
Cameron, are you okay? You seem nervous.
Uh, nervous? No.
I'm not nervous.
I was nervous.
I mean, when Mitchell made plans with his father, I figured, why not spend the evening with Gloria? I've always wanted to be good friends with her.
On paper, we should be good friends.
Look at us.
One spicy, curvy diva- And Gloria.
The problem is, I had a little minor setback that we had to overcome from a couple weeks ago.
[Phil, Jay Chattering] I cannot stand hanging out with his lvy League friends.
Oh, they're the worst.
They're not that bad.
They are the worst! Are you kidding me? Debbie can't go two minutes without talking about Columbia University.
And the little guy with the lazy eye from Harvard.
Brown.
Whatever.
Honestly, I wish that tart would go back to Columbia and take her weird little Brown friend with her.
[Chuckles] [Chattering Stops] [Mouthing Words] Cam, you need to relax.
You explained.
Not very well.
You know how awkward I get when things get awkward.
So when I said "Brown people," I wasn't talking about your, uh, brown people.
I was talking about people who go to a university.
Um, not your people.
N-Not that your people couldn't go to college.
Okay, now I'm hearing myself say "your people" a lot, so- [Chokes] Um, just very excited because this is, um- you know, this is our first night out together, so it's our little date.
Where are we going? Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and your tray tables are in the upright position because I got us into Palaiseau! Ah! Fancy! I know.
It's normally a four-week wait, but the maître d' is an old Pilates brother of mine, so just one phone call.
Okay.
Palaiseau! [Chuckles] Ay, Cameron, you know what? I don't know if I'm in the mood for something so fancy.
Can we just go somewhere, like, more simple? Oh, uh, yes.
Yes, of course.
We can- What were- What did you have in mind? I don't know.
How 'bout a little Latin place that I always used to go? That sounds fantastic.
Okay.
I would love to see how your people eat.
"Your people"? What is wrong with me? Okay.
It's egg-crackin' time.
Now, I find the key to cracking an egg properly- Mom, I'm not a child.
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