- Mike! - Help.
- Mike, get that rabid animal out of here.
- Help.
Come on, Dad.
Stuart's not rabid.
He's peppy.
Mike, animals that live off human toes are not "peppy.
" This is great.
I mean, I'm trying to do a good deed for a neighbor who's out of town and all you guys can do is complain.
How come you only do good deeds for neighbors who walk like this? Ben, does the phrase "one good turn deserves another" mean anything to you? Mike, does the phrase "get that dog out of here "before I punt it through the greenhouse" mean anything to you? Hi, Carol.
Hi.
What's the matter, Carol? I can't find the peanut butter.
When's Mom coming home? Usual time.
Can I call her at work? Course you can, sweetheart.
If it's important.
Yeah, is Maggie Seaver there, please? Yeah, could you tell her to call Carol when she gets back? It's really important.
Okay.
Thanks.
Bye.
Something you want to talk to me about? I don't know.
Want me to leave you alone? I don't know.
Do you want me to stick large ripe vegetables in my ear and play the accordion? Hey, come on.
Remember what we used to do when you were just a little girl and you had a problem? I'd steer you over here, beep-beep, spin you around and up on the counter like that so that we could have a little face-to-face chat.
- Yeah.
- Doesn't work anymore.
Come on, talk to me.
Today was the last day of the German Club Gummy Bear sale and well, that was my last real chance to get Kevin to notice me before the dance tomorrow night.
And Kevin's friend Mark was coming up to get a Gummy and Melissa said she heard Mark said he said Wait, wait.
Who said? - Kevin said.
- Said what? Said Said I look like a Gummy Bear.
Well, honey, I'm sure he meant it in a nice way.
Come off it, Dad.
I mean, the boy thinks I look like a bear.
I'm just ugly.
You do not look like a bear.
But if you walk around thinking that you Iook ugly, then you're going to end up looking like this.
Look.
Can you see yourself? Now if you walk around knowing you're pretty because you are then you're gonna feel better.
You're gonna look like this.
What do you think? I think it's more important what Kevin thinks.
Okay but did you actually hear Kevin say that he thought you looked like a Gummy Bear? No, but Melissa said she heard he said it.
Well, since when did you believe everything Melissa says she heard? Well, she does make you wonder sometimes.
I mean, she swore she saw Mick Jagger at JC Penney's last week.
Well, they did have that big sale in Home Furnishings.
Dad.
Come on, I just think that you should take your cues about what Kevin thinks from what Kevin says himself.
Yeah, you're right.
I need new ice skates.
Did I miss something? Well, everybody's going to be at the skating rink tomorrow night and I can skate by Kevin and see if he says anything to me.
Tomorrow morning you and I go down to Macy's and we buy you a brand-new pair of skates.
Who knows, maybe we'll even run into Tina Turner in Small Appliances.
Thanks, Dad.
Carol.
- Carol.
- I'm in here, Mom.
- Fooled you, didn't I? - Yeah.
Hi, sweetheart.
Where's Carol? I got a message that she wanted to talk to me.
She's over at Laurie's.
How was your day? Another last-minute rewrite.
I've never typed so fast in my life.
My fingers are still wiggling.
Don't be wasting those wiggling fingers.
Here, try them right here below the shoulder blade.
Oh, Jason.
Perfect.
Thank you.
So what did Carol want to talk about? Jim said she sounded very upset.
Yes, well, it seems she has reason to believe that Kevin thought that she looked like a Gummy Bear.
Kevin? The one in the German Club? My dear, the chancellor of the German Club.
Oh, no.
She's had a crush on him since Yes, since the Oktoberfest polka party.
Poor kid.
She must be miserable.
Well, I'll talk to her when she gets home.
- She's fine now.
- She is? Yeah, we talked it over.
Figured it out.
- You did.
- I did.
Honey, you don't have to say that just so I won't feel guilty.
I'm not, Maggie.
No, we talked the whole thing over through and through, inside and out.
We cried.
We laughed.
We hugged.
We closed with a song.
That's good, Jason.
But if you don't mind, I think I'll talk to her just the same.
She's fine, Maggie.
Honey, she always says she's fine.
Now when's she coming home? You don't think I can hold up my end of the bargain, do you? Jason, what bargain? Come on, the bargain where you go back to work and I stay here and take care of the kids.
- Oh, Jason.
- No.
You don't think that I can handle it, do you? - Jason, it's not that I don't think - No, no, no.
Even though I happen to be - a highly skilled professional counselor - Oh, Jason.
who once talked a man down from the rim of a shark tank.
No, no.
I mean, because I was the guy who predicted two weeks before the police caught Son of Sam that he would turn out to be an ugly mailman from New Rochelle who talked to his neighbor's dog.
Jason, it's not that I don't think that you're a wonderful psychiatrist.
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