I still think we should call first before we go all the way to Boston to see your folks.
Jason, they'd just tell us not to come.
Oh, here, let me.
I'll get those for you, Dad.
Carol, honey, we're almost ready.
Were you speaking to me? No one spoke to me when this trip was being planned.
Honey, we didn't know we were going until last night.
Carol, we're worried about Grandma and Grandpa.
Oh, Maggie, I think you're overreacting.
Then why did they call and cancel their trip at the last minute? And why did my dad say everything was "swell"? Because it is? No, Jason.
My father doesn't use words like "swell," "good," or "nice.
" Certainly not when I'm in the room.
Let's go, let's go, let's go! Well, you sure are excited about this, Ben.
Are you kidding? Grandpa's gonna let me use his nightstick and his handcuffs, and even wear his badge.
Hey, maybe you'll get fingerprinted, too.
Wow! Well, Dad, again, I just want to thank you for letting me stay home and earn some extra money helping Mr.
Sacks fertilize his lawn.
I'm sure that earning money will teach me a new respect for the dollar and help me grow as a person.
Bet you'll be pretty good at spreading manure, too.
And I'm so sorry that I'm going to miss that sing-along around Grandma's piano.
Yeah.
Well, just remember, if you have any problems here you call the Koosmans next door.
And only one guest stays over tonight.
This is not fair.
No one thought that old Carol might have other plans.
No one in this entire house treated me like a real, living, breathing human person.
Carol, get in the car.
Bye, sweetheart.
Oh, and, Mike, I know everything will be fine, because if it isn't you'll be grounded until you're 35.
Enough said.
- Bye, Mom.
Bye, Dad.
- See you tomorrow, Mike.
All right.
Have fun.
Bye-bye.
Yes! - Ben, wait for us.
- I got to go to the bathroom.
We want to surprise Grandma and Grandpa together.
If Grandpa starts frisking me before I go I'll surprise him, all right.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm Ed and Kate's daughter, Maggie.
Good.
Excuse us, please.
Should you just walk in there like that? What, we should knock and stand out here in the cold waiting for some jerk to open the door? Come on.
Who are they? Mom, are these people the relatives you don't send Christmas cards to? I'm going to try to find Grandma and Grandpa.
Oh! How are you folks? Come on in.
I see you brought your luggage.
Well, don't worry, we'll try to close this deal by nightfall.
The kiddies, too.
This is so nice.
Cocktail frank? My name's not Frank.
- Who are you? - Who am I? I don't know you.
I don't know him.
Harry Bittle.
Great American Dream Realty Company.
- This house is for sale? - Yes.
Where are the owners? Oh, well, the sellers are never present for the showing.
Especially sellers who have put - This would break their heart.
- I'm sure.
- Well, honey, they haven't sold it yet.
- You folks are interested in this house? Deeply.
Oh.
Well, then let me point out some of the fine features of this timeless classic.
- Lf you do, I'm going to cry.
- Pardon? Why are they selling? You're not interested in hearing about the house? I love this house.
I'd do my homework right by the fireplace, waiting for my daddy to come home and hang up his gun and give me a hug.
Why are they selling? Well, I can't really violate their confidence.
But I will say, retirement income balloon payment, disaster.
- It's all right.
I'm her psychiatrist.
- Well, can I do anything? Yes, you could just give us a moment alone, please.
Thank you.
Come on, Maggie, sweetheart, come on, we'll look into this.
Selling this house has to be breaking their hearts.
I know.
Why didn't they come to us for help? Oh, my father's pride.
There is no way he could ask us for money, knowing the way he feels about what you do for a living.
- What? - Forget I said that.
I knew he didn't care for me.
I didn't think he hated my entire profession.
Oh, honey, it's not that he hates your profession.
It's just that he doesn't know what it is.
Oh.
So now, after 17 years, I find this out? Now, what good would it have done to let you know that he thinks you're a quack? A quack? Jason, can we talk about this later? Now, I don't want this house sold until we get a chance to talk to Mom and Dad.
Sure, sure.
Genuine lath and plaster on real two-by-four studs.
Excuse me.
I don't mean to interrupt, Harry No problem.
What you were saying over there confused me.
Were the victims' bodies found in this room or all through the house? - This is life as it should be.
- Mike! Mike! Man, that was good.
Guys, how you doing? You're early.
I didn't even order the pizza yet.
Let me do it.
My cousin Gus works for Paradise Pizza.
I can get us a discount.
- All right.
- So, Mikey, what's the action? Not much.
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