Well, Charlie, as you can see we are all still living in this hotel room.
And we are here because someone let termites eat our house.
( Sighs ) It was not my fault.
Oh, of course not, dad.
Totally his fault.
Anyway, it's a little crowded with everyone here, but we're doing okay.
Would you keep it down over there? Just okay.
Just barely okay.
Gabe, what is your problem? I am on the phone.
With who? No one.
It's just a friend.
I'll have the rib-eye steak, medium-rare.
Gabe, I told you.
No room service.
Mom, I'm hungry.
Well, then have a peanut butter sandwich.
I'm sick of those.
Me too.
Look.
We're meeting with the contractor later on today, but until we find out how much we need to spend to fix the house, we are in money-saving mode.
Yeah, that sounds fair.
You destroy the house, and we don't get to eat.
It was not my fault! All: Right.
I can't believe I went from having my own room to being stuck here with you people.
Aww.
Poor baby doesn't have his own room anymore.
Too bad.
Aw.
It's too bad you don't have a boyfriend anymore.
Gabe.
No, mom.
It's okay.
We're all a little stressed out.
Gabe's dealing with it his way.
Now I'm gonna deal with it my way.
You're going down, little man! ( Grunting ) ( Rock music playing ) Today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes "has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud there it is up on the roof I've been there, i survived so just take my advice hang in there, baby things are crazy but I know your future's bright hang in there, baby there's no maybe everything turns out all right sure life is up and down but trust me, it comes back around you're gonna love who you turn out to be hang in there, baby.
( Groans ) Uh, how we looking, Kevin? Hey, before we talk about the house, I want to give you these.
One free pass to the giggle hut.
Oh, you're a stand-up comedian too? Yeah, everyone's always telling me how funny I am.
My niche is construction-related humor.
Is that a popular niche? You tell me.
Did you hear about the singing plumber? He had great pipes.
Because singer's sometimes refer to their voices as - Pipes.
- Yeah, no.
We got that.
So, about the house? Okay.
Well, the first problem That's the sky up there, and you're not supposed to be able to see it from here.
Is that a comedy observation or a construction observation? Construction.
Unless it was funny.
I mean, was it? I can never tell.
So I guess you're looking at two options.
Rebuild the house the way it was, or given the amount of damage here, you could tear it down and build a brand new one.
A dream house if you will.
A dream house? ( Gasps ) That sounds interesting.
That sure does.
You could have anything your heart desires.
Bob, I can finally get the dining room I've always wanted.
I could get my own bathroom with one of those Japanese toilets.
You know, the ones with the silent flushing system and the temperature- controlled heated seat.
We all have different dreams.
;Emmett, great news.
You know how we've been talking about moving to a bigger apartment before things get really bad and we start hating each other forever? We've never talked about that.
Oh, right.
Remind me, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
Anyway, I just found out about this apartment.
Check this out.
- Oh, this is great.
- Right? - It has two bedrooms.
- That's two more than we have now.
We've got to get this apartment.
Okay.
There's one little problem.
We have this thing called a lease.
- ( Sighs ) - The thing Bernie the landlord made us sign? It says we have to live here for at least a year.
It also says that we have to keep it clean and pay our rent on time.
Well, let's read it.
Maybe there's some way we can get out of it.
Okay.
I keep it over here with the rest of our important documents.
Okay, Indian.
Chinese.
Thai.
Lease.
Here we go.
Oh, here it is.
"This lease may not be broken under penalty of law.
" Never should have signed this thing.
Yeah, but you did.
With a smiley face.
Well, I think the signature should express an emotion.
Mmm.
Oh oh oh oh.
Hang on.
We can't leave, but we can get kicked out.
Well, how do we do that? "Landlord may evict tenant from premises if 'a' the tenant brings a pet on the premises, - or 'b'" - Who cares about "b"? "A" is perfect.
Your family have any pets we can borrow? No.
We just have babies.
We can dress one of them up like a pet.
I promised I wouldn't do that anymore.
Okay.
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