Guys.
Great news! I think I know where I want to have my birthday party.
Your birthday party? Your birthday was six months ago.
Yeah.
But my party was cancelled because I got sick, remember? And then it was cancalled because I was bad.
And it was too close to Christmas and then I was banned again.
I guess we never did have a party for him.
Well I suppose we could have one for him now.
I mean we do love him as much as the other kids, right? Oh Well The party is gonna be at The Boom Zone.
- Here.
Take a look.
- Boom zone.
It's totally fun.
And it's the perfect birthday party place for me and ten of my closet friends.
Or as I like to call them: gift bringers.
Wow.
That's gonna run us some money.
I mean maybe for one of the other kids.
- Gabe, we'll do it.
- Yes! Now you're talking.
- On one condition.
- Oh and you're still talking.
We can have a party at the Boom Zone if you can be good for a whole week.
I can do that.
Can't be mean to your brother and sisters? - No problem.
- Can't make fun of my cooking? Harder but I can do that.
And you can't make fun of your father's weight.
Ho ho.
Bye bye Boom Zone.
No dad.
Dad, you're wrong.
I can do this.
For the next week, I will not say anything about your weight.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Good luck with that.
- Thanks, baldie.
Day's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes "has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud there it is up on the roof I've been there, I survived so just take my advice hang in there, baby things are crazy but I know your future's bright hang in there, baby there's no maybe everything turns out all right sure life is up and down but trust me, it comes back around you're gonna love who you turn out to be hang in there, baby.
- No, you tell her.
- No, you.
- No, you.
- No no, you tell her.
Somebody! Okay, so Derek said the deepest thing.
Tell her, sweetie.
I was looking at my cereal this morning.
"And I was thinking wow no two flakes are exactly alike.
" That's snowflakes, not cornflakes.
I actually wrote a poem about it.
If you wanna hear it, my next poetry slam.
T.
- We'll be there.
- Um, actually, I got another slam to go to that night.
Derek didn't say what night it was.
I got slams all week.
I'm just slammed.
- We'll be there.
- Cool.
I gotta go.
You know, babe, and read something, - That would be awesome.
- Okay.
Cool.
The theme of the night is pain.
Okay.
- See ya.
- Okay.
You're gonna write a poem About pain then get up and read it? I don't think so.
You just said you would.
- I did? - Yes.
- When he put his arm on your shoulder.
- Oh darn.
Whenever he does that I can't think straight.
Uh-huh.
So did you really like.
- That thing he said about cereal? - What did he say about cereal? Hey, honey, these pants are too tight.
Where are the new bigger ones I bought? Those are the new bigger ones.
I'm leaving.
This is not a safe environment for me.
These pants aren't so tight.
I can make this work.
Okay, Bob honey, I love you to pieces, my dear, But your waistline has now become a safety issue for the children.
Honey, I would love to lose a couple of pounds, But diets just don't seem to work for me.
Well, dad, it's not just abo Dad, it's not about dieting.
What you need is healthier eating choices combined with exercise.
- What is that supposed to mean? - Less bacon, more shakin'.
I can help you out, be like your trainer.
Okay.
Thank you very much, but I don't need your help.
Yup, split the underwear too.
Get started in the morning? Uh, Teddy, are you okay? No, my cereal's not speaking to me.
Has your cereal spoken to you before? No, I just I need some inspiration.
I told Derek that I'd read an original poem.
On Saturday night and so far I've got nothing.
Poetry you say? Have I ever mentioned that I write poetry? Mom, please don't make this about you.
Of course, that would be selfish.
Ooh! I wrote a great poem about selfishness.
- It goes like this: "me me me me" - Mom! Sorry.
Okay, what is your poem supposed to be about? Well, it's supposed to be about pain, But I can't think about anything painful.
I have happily-married parents, A roof over my head, food on my table.
Why'd you guys have to give me such a good life? Ah.
- All right! - Okay.
- Let's go! - Looking good, dad.
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