Pod.
Pod! Find Bronn or Varys.
Tell them I am here with Maester Pycelle.
Tell them I am very much alive.
Yes, my lord.
Would you like something for the pain? What happened? The murderer and traitor Stannis Baratheon suffered a stunning defeat at the hands of your father.
Where am I? These are your new chambers.
A little cramped, perhaps, but you don't need much room, do you? You are no longer Hand of the King.
For your trouble.
I, Joffrey of the House Baratheon, first of my name, the rightful King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, do hereby proclaim my grandfather, Tywin Lannister, the savior of the city and the Hand of the King.
Thank you, Your Grace.
Lord Petyr Baelish, step forward.
For your good service and ingenuity in uniting the Houses of Lannister and Tyrell, I declare that you shall be granted the castle of Harrenhal with all its attendant lands and incomes to be held by your sons and grandsons from this day until the end of time.
You honor me beyond words, Your Grace.
I shall have to acquire some sons and grandsons.
Ser Loras Tyrell.
Your house has come to our aid.
The whole realm is in your debt, none more so than I.
If your family would ask anything of me, ask it, and it shall be yours.
Your Grace, my sister Margaery, her husband was taken from us before She remains innocent.
I would ask you to find it in your heart to do us the great honor ofjoining our houses.
Is this what you want, Lady Margaery? With all my heart, Your Grace.
I have come to love you from afar.
Tales of your courage and wisdom have never been far from my ears.
And those tales have taken root deep inside of me.
I, too, have heard tales of your beauty and grace, but the tales do not do you justice, my lady.
It would be an honor to return your love, but I am promised to another.
A king must keep his word.
Your Grace, in the judgment of your Small Council, it would be neither proper nor wise for you to wed the daughter of a man beheaded for treason, a girl whose brother is in open rebellion against the throne as we speak.
For the good of the realm, your councilors beg you to set Sansa Stark aside.
Margaery! We want Margaery! I would like to heed your wishes and the wishes of my people, but I took a holy vow.
Your Grace, the gods do indeed hold betrothal solemn, but your father, blessed be his memory, made this pact before the Starks revealed their falseness.
I have consulted with the High Septon and he assures me that their crimes against the realm free you from any promise you have made to them in the sight of the gods.
The gods are good.
I am free to heed my heart.
Ser Loras, I will gladly wed your sweet sister.
You will be my queen and I will love you from this day until my last day.
My lady.
My sincerest condolences.
They're right.
I'm not good enough for him.
You shouldn't say that.
You'll be good enough for many things.
He'll still enjoy beating you.
And now that you're a woman, he'll be able to enjoy you in other ways as well.
But, if he's not marrying me He'll let you go home? Joffrey's not the sort of boy who gives away his toys.
You have a tender heart, just like your mother did at your age.
I can see so much of her in you.
She was like a sister to me.
For her sake, I'll help get you home.
King's Landing is my home now.
Look around you.
We're all liars here.
And every one of us is better than you.
Come in.
Make yourself comfortable.
That doesn't look very comfortable.
Here, watch me.
- No need for that, my dear.
- You sure? Most men like what they see.
I'm not like most men.
That's what most men say.
If you don't want what most men want, then you'd better tell me what you'd like me to do.
I would like you to tell me if working for Lord Baelish has been all you'd hoped it would be.
Have we met? You wouldn't remember me if we had? I meet a lot of men.
And I think you remember all of them.
I think your true talents are wasted on them.
You're very kind, my lord.
Allow me to return the favor.
You're afraid.
Why? Nothing dangerous down there.
I know who you are.
And, unlike your current employer, I protect those who work for me.
I don't abuse them to satisfy royal whims or force them to abuse each other.
How do you know about that? I thought you said you knew who I was.
What can I do for you, Lord Varys? Littlefinger looks at you and sees a collection of profitable holes.
I see a potential partner.
- I'm afraid of him.
- Oh, you should be.
He's a dangerous man.
But everyone has their weaknesses.
Your current employer hides his very well, but not as well as he thinks.
You're a virgin, I take it? Walk.
Childhood must have been awful for you.
Were you a foot taller than all the boys? They laughed at you, called you names? Some boys like a challenge.
One or two must have tried to get inside Big Brienne.
One or two tried.
Ah.
But you fought them off.
But maybe you wished one of them could overpower you, fling you down, tear off your clothes.
But none of them were strong enough.
- I'm strong enough.
- Not interested.
Of course you are.
You'd love to know what it feels like to be a woman.
Ah.
"They lay with lions.
" Tavern girls, I'd say.
Probably served my father's soldiers.
Maybe one of them gave up a kiss and a feel.
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