Does Ser Hugh have any family in the capital? No.
I stood vigil for him myself last night.
He had no one else.
He'd never worn this armor before.
Bad luck for him - going against the Mountain.
Who determines the draw? All the knights draw straws, Lord Stark.
Aye.
But who holds the straws? You've done good work, Sisters.
Life is strange.
Not so many years ago we fought as enemies at the Trident.
I'm glad we never met on the field, Ser Barristan.
As is my wife.
I don't think the widow's life would suit her.
You're too modest.
I've seen you cut down a dozen great knights.
My father once told me you were the best he'd ever seen.
I never knew the man to be wrong about matters of combat.
He was a fine man, your father.
What the Mad King did to him was a terrible crime.
And that lad - he was a squire until a few months ago.
How could he afford a new suit of armor? Perhaps Lord Arryn left him some money? - I hear the king wants to joust today.
- Yes, that will never happen.
Robert tends to do what he wants.
If the king got what he wanted all the time, he'd still be fighting a damned rebellion.
It's made too small, Your Grace.
It won't go.
Your mother was a dumb whore with a fat arse.
Did you know that? Look at this idiot! One ball and no brains.
He can't even put a man's armor on him properly.
- You're too fat for your armor.
- Fat? Fat, is it? Is that how you speak to your king? Oh, it's funny, is it? - No, Your Grace.
- No? You don't like the Hand's joke? You're torturing the poor boy.
You heard the Hand.
The king's too fat for his armor.
Go find the breastplate stretcher - now! "The breastplate stretcher"? How long before he figures it out? - Maybe you should have one invented.
- All right, all right.
You watch me out there.
I still know how to point a lance.
You've no business jousting.
Leave that for the young men.
Why, because I'm king? Piss on that.
I want to hit somebody! - And who's going to hit you back? - Anybody who can.
- And the last man in his saddle - Will be you.
There's not a man in the Seven Kingdoms would risk hurting you.
Are you telling me those cowards would let me win? Aye.
- Drink.
- I'm not thirsty.
Drink.
Your king commands it.
Gods, too fat for my armor.
Your squire - a Lannister boy? Mm.
A bloody idiot, but Cersei insisted.
I have Jon Arryn to thank for her.
"Cersei Lannister will make a good match," he told me.
"You'll need her father on your side.
" I thought being king meant I could do whatever I wanted.
Enough of this.
Let's go watch 'em ride.
At least I can smell someone else's blood.
- Robert.
- What? Oh.
An inspiring sight for the people, eh? Come, bow before your king! Bow, you shits! - Where's Arya? - At her dancing lessons.
The Knight of the Flowers.
Thank you, Ser Loras.
Don't let Ser Gregor hurt him.
- Hey.
- I can't watch.
A hundred gold dragons on the Mountain.
- I'll take that bet.
- Now what will I buy with 100 gold dragons? A dozen barrels of Dornish wine? Or a girl from the pleasure houses of Lys? - Or you could even buy a friend.
- He's going to die.
Ser Loras rides well.
Such a shame, Littlefinger.
It would have been so nice for you to have a friend.
And tell me, Lord Renly, when will you be having your friend? Loras knew his mare was in heat.
Quite crafty, really.
Ser Loras would never do that.
- There's no honor in tricks.
- No honor and quite a bit of gold.
Sword! Leave him be! Stop this madness in the name of your king! Let him go! I owe you my life, ser.
I'm no ser.
Remove his hood.
On that eve, the captive Imp Downwards from his horse did limp No more would he preen and primp In garb of red and gold This isn't the Kingsroad.
- You said we were riding for Winterfell.
- I did Often and loudly.
Very wise.
They'll be out in droves, looking for me in the wrong place.
Word's probably gotten to my father by now.
He'll be offering a handsome reward.
Everyone knows a Lannister always pays his debts.
Would you be so good as to untie me? - And why would I do that? - Why not? Am I going to run? The hill tribes would kill me for my boots.
Unless a shadowcat ate me first.
Shadowcats and hill tribes are the least of your concerns.
Ah, the eastern road.
We're going to the Vale.
You're taking me to your sister's to answer for my imagined crimes.
Tell me, Lady Stark, when was the last time you saw your sister? - Five years ago.
- She's changed.
She was always a bit touched, but now You might as well kill me here.
- I am not a murderer, Lannister.
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