Future Shock Good thing I noticed that.
Planet Express stockholders.
- I present Professor Hubert Farnsworth.
|- Oh! - There he is!|- Take it off! - Where am I?|- Move forward! Walk into the light! Oh, God! I'm dead! Well, no matter.
Thank you all for coming.
I don't recognize any of you,|nor can I recall why I am here.
Without further ado a film highlighting Planet|Express, Inc.
's latest fiscal year.
Planet Express is on the move! For this hip, young delivery company,|tomorroW is today and today is yesterday!|You heard me.
It Was a year of soaring profits|and significant one-time losses.
Watching myself work makes me hungry.
|Help me find food.
I'll not only find it,|I'll help you do more to it.
A Bot-Mitzvah!|Shalom, hunger.
Shalom, free food.
No shellfish! - That is so unfair.
|- Tell me about it.
So you guys don't believe|in Robot-Jesus? He was built and was well-programmed,|but he wasn't our messiah.
And so, our company flames onWards.
Planet Express: limitless potential,|boundless horizons! The unstoppable juggernaut|of the corporate universe! It's been a terrible year.
The company|is on the verge of bankruptcy.
- But the movie-|- A substantial loss for the company.
The blue pie slice represents|the money we earned.
The green slice represents|an $8 bank error in our favor.
What about our thousands|of shares of stock? - Worthless.
|- I'll kill you! I own one share of Planet kajiggers,|so I'm entitled to some answers.
Question: Why does no one|visit me in my home? Your apartment smells|like Polygrip and cat pee! This is perfect for me! Do you have to have been|cryogenically frozen to get the free-? You didn't let me finish!|I was going to say "free food"! - My name's Joe and I'm a defrostee.
|Hello, Joe! When I was frozen,|carrots ruled the earth.
But now they don't.
|It takes some getting used to.
In the 1980s,|I was the toast of Wall Street.
I had whiskey with Boesky,|cookies with Milken.
But then, I was diagnosed|with terminal bone-itis.
Bone-itis? That's a funny name|for a horrible disease.
There was no cure.
|One drug company was close but I arranged a hostile takeover|and sold its assets.
Made 100 mil.
I froze myself until a cure was found.
And now here I am, ready to sleaze|my way back to the top, '80s style! As a caveman frozen in a glacier,|I face many challenges.
The hardest thing was seeing my wife|on display in the British Museum.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'm from your time.
|Remember that song, "Safety Dance"? Sure do.
We can dance Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun|Dun-dun-dun-dun That dance wasn't that safe.
I tell you, two go-go '80s Reaganauts|like us could rule this world! - Right.
|- If only someone would give us a shot.
They're scared of us.
But if you want|a job, I could beg my company.
Awesome.
Awesome to the max! And finally, the post office meter|is for business mail only.
Come on! I've got a lot|of ransom notes to send! Enough talk! Time for action! I move that everyone comes over - to snuggle my cat!|- Second.
- I move your cat stinks and is ugly!|- Second.
I move that we vote on a new CEO|and oust this old creep! - And my cat smells good and is pretty.
|- Second.
- Very well.
I nominate the Professor!|Second! - I'm your man!|- I vote my shares for the Professor.
- The Professor!|- Me! I nominate that guy.
Because he knows about business|and stuff and has a tie.
Shares still count if|they were washed, right? If I know anything|about which number is bigger- Hold on! Scruffy votes|his 40,000 shares for the stranger.
You have four times as much stock|as the rest of us? Scruffy believes in this company.
It's a tie.
In the event of a tie, the|Professor, as current CEO, remains- I demand the floor! I may only have|one share, but I get to vote too! And I'm voting against the cat-hater!|Isn't that right, kitty? Hey! You ate my change! It's settled.
The new chief executive|officer of Planet Express is "That Guy"! Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun|Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun Please welcome our new|chief executive officer, That Guy! Yeah! Woo-woo-woo! There are two kinds of people:|sheep and sharks.
Anyone who's a sheep is fired.
|Who's a sheep? Excuse me,|which one do people like to hug? Gutsy question.
You're a shark.
|Sharks don't look back because they don't have necks.
|Necks are for sheep.
I'm proud to shepherd this herd|of sharks and I am gonna lead you to the top|in this industry of- - Package delivery.
|- Package delivery?! Oh, God! Fantastic! The first order of business,|blame everything on the guy before me.
- Professor?|- I'll ruin you like I did this company! Terrific.
Question number one:|What was your overall business plan? Business plan? Yes.
I keep it here,|right next to my heart.
This is no business plan,|it's an escape plan.
So long, suckers! Fry, as a fellow '80s dollar jockey,|I'm making you my new vice chairman.
I'm rolling up the corporate ramp! It's the end!|- We're ruined! What fevered dream is this that bids|to tear this company in twain? Thank you.
Come again.
That's what I call a hostile makeover.
|Hair gel? No, thanks.
I make my own.
We'll shoot straight to the top|and stay there, like Cindy Lauper! I ask you, who is the number one|delivery service on earth? - Is it Planet Express, master?|- Is this guy a shark or what? Seriously, we stink.
|Here's the big enchirito.
Mom's Friendly Delivery Company.
We can't compete! Her company is big|and evil.
We're small and neutral.
Switzerland is small and neutral.
We're|Germany, ambitious and misunderstood.
Everyone wants to be like Germany.
|Do we have the strength of will? I say we do! Will we let ourselves|get beaten by an old lady? Yes, my liege.
No! I speak for the entire board|when I issue this challenge to Mom! Look at my butt! Woo! Woo, woo, woo! You call that a pressed ham?|Walt, hit the retaliate button! - Let's see-|- Any button! They all retaliate! Yeah! Hit him, hit him, hit him! This is the high life!|Watching apes kill each other.
In my day, we had coke parties,|but the principle's the same.
Get your stinking trike off me,|you damn, dirty ape! Now that you're my protìgì it's time I cut you in on|the secret to success.
Any guesses? - Work really hard?|- No.
- Oh, thank God!|- It's all about appearances.
It's time to update|our company's image and give it the sleek,|dazzling veneer of the 1980s! This company's on the fast track|to the It List.
Kudos! We haven't made one delivery|since you two took over.
Delivery has nothing to do|with our business.
Image, people!|Scope out this new ad! We are all one.
One mind.
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