Futurama is brought to you by Arachno Spores,|the fatal spore With the funny name.
Lesser of Two Evils Cop Department is real.
The people are not actors.
Most aren't even people.
Come on, man.
|I didn't fire off no laser.
Then Why is there a smoking hole|in your ceiling? Crazy upstairs lady's|been shooting doWn.
You're on the top floor|of this domicile.
Get that f* * *ing camera|out of my house! Just relax, ma'am.
|Sir? Put doWn the lamp.
Okay, I'm cooperating.
That's it.
|Put up your hands.
Nice and sloW.
|Oh, yeah.
- While you're at it, unblur your face.
|- Oh, man! Bender, you said you were|in this episode.
No.
I'm on Caught on Tape Three|for what I did in the coffee pot.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
|I'm just going through some things.
I'm going in.
Cop Department|Will be right back.
Is today's lifestyle making you tense|and impatient? Shut up and get to the point! Then relive the carefree|days of yore at Past-O-Rama Where old NeW York comes alive.
|- It's like living in the year 2000.
Time for the mammoth hunt, dudes.
- Let's disco dance, Hammurabi.
|- "Dy-no-mite!" Located on the former site|of Brooklyn.
Sounds like your kind of place.
|Wanna go? If I ever wanna go back,|I'll freeze myself again.
Come on, Fry! I want to see it.
|You know I yearn for a simpler time of barn dances and buggy rides before life was cheapened|by heartless machines.
But Bender, you are a It's like the good old days.
Give me your wallet|or I'll cut you! Get a picture of me being "mugged.
" Give me the camera too! Learning is fun.
Ancient Wall Street.
- No!|- I'm ruined! I direct your attention|to this ancient tablet.
Which has yet to be deciphered.
- Do you know?|- Yes.
A cop told me.
It means, "Up yours.
" I'm really enjoying the day out|with you people.
Hey, a suicide booth!|So long, suckers! Sorry, Bender,|that's just a phone booth.
- What were they used for?|- In New York? Bathrooms.
I'll be out in a second.
"Tokens only.
"|How does this work? I'll show you.
It's a turnstile.
What's this? - Another bathroom?|- It's a mobile apartment with no rent.
Come on, Fry, get up! The tomb of the 20th century's|greatest spiritual leader AI Sharpton.
Now, this guy had taste.
He was mummified|in ceremonial vestments.
We called it a "jogging suit.
" Old NeW York's traffic jams Were a public forum|for the exchange of opinions.
Move it, crap for brains! Get on, bastard man! It all started|With Gerald Ford's invention the Automo-Car,|poWered by a tank of burning fossils.
Here is a 20th century|assembly line Where cars Were constructed|by primitive robots.
We've come a long way, baby.
The fruit of the robot's labor Was|the stately 1992 Latoura.
My girlfriend had one!|Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend she just never closed|her curtains.
Didn't I tell you to end|your stories a sentence earlier? Let's sneak in for a closer look.
We don't touch the antiques, sir.
I'm sorry.
You work here.
|I should have known from that getup.
This is from Miller's Outpo|I mean, yeah, I work here all right.
Move this rust bucket out behind|Saint Koch's cathedral.
Did you drive much, Fry? No one in New York drove.
|There was too much traffic.
Nice.
|Listen to that baby purr.
There's a baby in there, huh? It's just like riding a bicy - I think I got whiplash.
|- How? You don't have a neck.
I meant ass whiplash.
I'm glad we hit something.
|I thought we'd never stop.
I think I got whiplash.
How's that robot I hit? We did all we could.
- You mean he's|- Good as new? Yes! Leela, Zoidberg, the rest of you,|this is Flexo.
Except for that stylish beard,|he looks just like Bender! No duh! We're both bending units.
What's your serial number? No way! Mine's 2716057.
- I don't get it.
|- We're both the sum of two cubes.
Sorry about crushing your body, Flexo.
|You okay now? Well, I don't feel as bad as you look.
I'm just messing with you.
|You're okay.
That's some face you've got.
|There's a cream for that.
- No.
You're great.
|- Is there anything I can do for you? Your stunt did a number on my back.
|You mind rubbing it for me? Sure.
That's it.
|A little lower.
- How's that?|- Lower.
- That's it.
A little lower, though.
|- I can't get any lower.
I'll say.
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