- Hey.
- Hi.
- What are you doing? - I was thinking of moving the couch.
Why would you want to do that? So there'd be a decent place for me to sit? - Rach, there is a decent place.
- And your lap does not count.
- Come on, help me move this.
- No, no, no.
- No? - No.
Rosita does not move.
I'm sorry.
Rosita? As in? As in "Rosita does not move.
" It's just a chair.
What's the big deal? It's the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and it's at an angle where you don't get any glare coming off Stevie.
Stevie the TV? - Is there a problem? - No.
What does he know? Come on, Rosita.
Us chicas gotta stick together.
You bitch! The One Where Rosita Dies Hey, Ross? I checked the real estate section.
Look at this.
Looks like Mom and Dad's house.
Even has a tree with a broken limb out front.
And the window in the attic .
Oh, my God! What happened to the window in the attic? - I can't believe they're selling it.
- And they didn't tell us.
What happened to the window in the attic? I'll buy you a new one, okay? We'll go to the store and get you a new chair right now.
She's not even cold yet.
Wouldn't Rosita have wanted you to move on? I mean, you know, she did always put your comfort first.
That's true.
I can't believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in.
Man, some stranger's gonna be in my room.
For 15 years they kept it as a shrine to you.
It's time the velvet ropes came down.
They kept your room a while.
Please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out.
I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria's Secret catalogs? Not a gym.
- Come on.
You know they love you.
- As much as they love you? They thought she was barren until I was born.
It's not my fault.
I hate this year.
What's wrong with this year? It's February and I've only given two massages and they were both horrible tippers.
That was me and Ross.
Oh, that's right.
If you want some extra cash some college friends made good money doing telemarketing.
It'd be better than the last telephone job I had.
I probably won't have to say "spank" as much.
What? Oh, yeah, like you never called.
This is very easy.
You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you can.
Okay, I can do that.
By the way, I love my office.
- Why don't we do a trial run? - Oh, okay.
All right.
Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies.
- Can I speak to your supply manager? - I'm the supply manager.
I'd like to talk about your toner needs.
We don't need any.
Okay, sorry to bother you.
Bye-bye.
Yeah, you're right.
This is easy.
Okay.
What was wrong with that call? Oh, well, all right.
No offense, but you were kind of rude.
They always say they don't need toner.
That's okay.
Whatever they say, you can find the answer to it, here in the script.
So I think you're ready to sell toner.
- Do you have any last questions? - No.
Wait, yes, I do have one question: What is toner? Joey? Joe? Full bag? Beer's still cold.
Something terrible must have happened here.
Oh, no, no, no! Stevie, I was never here.
- Dad? - I'm here! - Hey.
- Hi.
Seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
We can't believe you're selling the house.
Time for a new family to start here.
I hope their check clears before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Let's grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
- Sorry we can't store your things.
- Oh, it's okay.
I can't wait to see everything again.
I don't know what's down here.
But there are six or seven Easy-Bake Ovens in the attic.
I used to love to play restaurant.
Not as much as you loved to play "uncooked batter eater.
" You can't expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies.
So I think your boxes are over here.
Oh, great.
Hey whose cigarettes are these? I don't know.
They must be your mother's.
But please, please don't ask her.
I'll throw these away.
Cool! Dad, my report cards! Hey, check this out.
Math, "A.
" Science, "A.
" History, "A.
" Gym .
My rock polisher! - Uh-oh.
- What? You know how the garage floods every spring? How are you ever gonna sell this place? I think I accidentally used Monica's boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Oh, no, Dad.
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