1
[LAUGHING]
What's so funny?
Oh, nothing.
It's an acting exercise.
I'm practicing my fake laugh.
Oh.
[LAUGHING]
What? What's so funny?
GUNTHER:
Oh, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
There's
none of that in here.
Oh, come on, at least
let me finish this last one.
Okay, but only if
you give me a drag.
Okay.
Oh
oh, dark mother.
Once again
I suckle at your smoky teat.
No, no.
Why don't you
hold on to that one?
[SIGHS]
Okay, that's, like,
the least fun game ever.
Well, I'm really sick of your smoking,
so I brought something
that is going to
help you quit.
Oh.
Nope.
That patch
is no good.
[FAKE LAUGHING]
Come on, it's
a hypnosis tape.
This woman at work used it for two weeks
straight and she hasn't smoked since.
Huh!
What's your problem?
Nothing.
It's just that
hypnosis is beyond crap.
Ross, I watched you get
hypnotized in Atlantic City.
Hey, that guy did not
hypnotize me, okay?
Right.
You always pull
your pants down on the count
of three and play "Wipe
Out" on your butt cheeks.
All right.
Forget hypnosis.
The way to quit smoking is you have
to dance naked in a field of heather,
and then bathe in the sweat
of six healthy young men.
Or what my father calls
Thursday night.
So no one told you
life was going to be this way
Your job's a joke,
you're broke
Your love life's D.
O.
A.
It's like you're always
stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day
Your week, your month,
or even your year
But I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to fall
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cause you're there
for me, too
- Here you go.
- Oh, you know what?
I didn't want cinnamon on this.
Sorry.
- Hi.
Hi.
- Oh, my God! Frank!
Ha, ha.
Hi! How are you?
What are you
doing here?
Well, you know, I would have called,
but I lost your phone number.
And then, uh, my mom locked me out
of the house, so I couldn't find it.
And, uh, then I tried to find a pay phone,
and the receiver was cut off.
What happened?
Uh, oh.
Vandalism.
But also, what happened
between you and your mom?
Well, we got in a fight, uh, 'cause she
said I was too immature to get married.
- You're getting married?!
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God! Aah!
My little brother's
getting married! Ha, ha.
Yeah.
I knew you'd be so cool about this.
Uh, hey, do you want to meet her?
Do I?!
Do you?
Yeah, I do! Yeah!
Okay, cool! All right!
She's just, uh, parking the truck.
I'm going toI'm going to go
get my, uhmy fiancée, man!
I would have bet good money that he'd
be the first one of us to get married.
Isn't it fantastic?
Yeah, but don't you think he's
a little young to get married?
- Well, he's 18.
- It will be illegal for him to drink
at his own bachelor party.
Yeah, or to
get a hooker.
Always illegal, Joe.
Heyhey
this is, uhmy fiancée,
- Mrs.
Knight.
- [NERVOUSLY] Ha-ha-ha.
- FRANK: That's, uhthat's my sister.
- You know, it's funny.
Frank's told me so much about you,
but you're not how I pictured you at all.
Yeah.
I'm a big surprise.
- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.
Oh, yeah.
Here, grab a seat.
So, uh, how did
you guys meet?
Well, um, I was in Mrs.
Knight's
I mean, Alice.
Sorry.
Alice.
I always do that.
Ha, ha.
You knowI was in
her Home Ec class.
And he was my best student.
Yeah, she was
my best teacher.
Aww!
If that doesn't keep kids
in school, what will?
And so now you guys
are going to be married?
Yeah.
Ha, ha.
You know, we talked about
just living together, but, um
we want to have
kids right away!
[ALICE LAUGHS]
Oh, my God.
Great!
Wow, kids.
Frank, are you
sure you're ready for that?
How hard can it be?
You know, I mean, you knowbabies.
Who doesn't want babies, right?
And besides, you know,
I never had a dad around,
and now I always will, 'cause,
you know, it will be me, right?
[BOTH LAUGH]
You know, we do realize that there's
an age difference between us.
Oh, good, 'cause you were
acting like you didn't.
Oh, no, but when it comes to love,
what does age matter?
- [GROWLS, SNARLS]
- [LAUGHS]
- Mm
- Mm
WOMAN: You are falling fast asleep.
Deeperdeeperdeeper
you are now completely asleep.
You don't need to smoke.
Cigarettes don't control you.
You are a strong,
confident woman,
who does not need to smoke.
A strong, confident woman
MONICA: And you know what?
I just realized in the last year,
I've only gone out with
two guys: Richard and Julio.
You got to help me out.
Set me up.
Get me back in the game.
That shouldn't be a problem.
I mean, I work
in fashion, and all I meet
are eligible straight men.
Pete, can I get you
something else?
I'll have a slice of cheesecake and
a date, if you're giving them out.
Heh.
Haven't you and I
covered that topic?
- Come on.
You just said to her
- You only want to go out with me
because of my wig, and the big boobs,
and the fact that I serve you food.
Well, if that were true,
I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth.
And the two times we went out,
it was just plain awkward.
You think she should
go out with me, don't you?
Ha, ha.
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