Man, I sure miss Julie.
Spanish midgets.
Spanish midgets wrestling.
Julie! Okay, I see how you got there.
You ever figure out what that thing's for? I'm trying this screening thing.
If I always answer the phone, people will think I have no life.
My God! Rodrigo never gets pinned! At the sound of the beep, you know what to do.
Hello.
I'm looking for Bob.
This is Jade.
I don 't know if you 're still at this number, but I was thinking about how great it was.
I know it's been three years but I was hoping we could hook up again.
I barely had the nerve to make this call -so you know what I did? -What? I got a little drunk and naked.
Bob here! The One With Five Steaks and An Eggplant So what have you been up to? Oh, you know, the usual.
Teaching aerobics partying way too much.
And in case you wondered those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
Can you hold on? I have another call.
-I love her! -I know.
-I'm back.
-So are we gonna get together? Absolutely.
How about tomorrow afternoon? Do you know Central Perk? Say, five-ish? Great.
I'll see you then.
Having a phone has finally paid off.
You do a good Bob impression but when she sees you tomorrow she's gonna realize you're not Bob.
I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up she'll seek comfort in the arms of the stranger at the next table.
Oh, my God.
You are pure evil.
Okay, pure evil horny and alone.
I've done this.
Yeah, everybody's here.
Hey, everybody! Say hi to Julie in New Mexico! Hi, Julie.
While Ross is on the phone everybody owes me Is there any chance that you're rounding up from you know from like 20? Hey, we got the gift, the concert and the cake.
Do we need a cake? I know it's a little steep.
But it's Ross.
It's Ross.
See you later.
I gotta go do a thing! Okay, sweetheart, I'll call you later.
You're not going through with this, are you? You know, I think I might just.
What are you guys doing for dinner tonight? Well, I gotta start saving up for Ross' birthday.
I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.
Can you believe how much this costs? Do you guys ever get the feeling that Chandler and those guys don't get that we don't make that much money? They always say let's go here, let's go there.
Like we can afford to go here and there.
Yes, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice.
And we can't say anything about it, because this is a birthday thing and it's "for Ross.
" For Ross.
Oh, my God! I'm at work just an ordinary day, chop, chop, saute, saute.
Suddenly, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office.
They fired the lunch chef, and guess who got the job? If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
Fortunately, it is me.
And they made me head of purchasing, thank you! That's so cool! Anyway, I think we should go out and celebrate.
You know, someplace nice.
Someplace nice.
How much you think I can get for my kidney? You can't do this.
I can't get a girl like that with conventional methods.
It doesn't matter.
She wanted to call Bob.
Bob could be who she was meant to be with.
You may be destroying their chance for happiness.
We don't know Bob.
We know me.
We like me.
Please let me be happy.
Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
All right.
Go.
Listen, I have to.
I have to confess something.
Yes? Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
-How did you -I don't know.
I just had this weird sense.
But that's me, I'm weird and sensitive.
Tissue? Thanks.
No, you keep the pack.
I'm all cried out today.
Here is to my sister, the newly appointed head lunch chef.
Also in charge of purchasing.
Head lunch chef, also in charge of purchasing Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
Lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there - here's to my -Wait! And I got a beeper! That's fine, I'll just wait.
Sorry.
Monica! Are we ready to order? We haven't even looked yet.
When you do, let me know.
I'll be over there on the edge of my seat.
Look at these prices! Yeah, these are pretty "cha-ching.
" I know! What are these, famous chickens? Sorry I'm late.
Congratulations, Mon.
I'm not sorry I'm late.
How incredible was my afternoon with Jade? Pretty incredible, according to the message on my machine.
Why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine? I told her that my number was yours because I couldn't tell her it was mine because she thinks my number is Bob's number.
Tell me again.
What do I do when Mr.
Roper calls? Do I dare ask? I'll start with the carpaccio, and then the grilled prawns.
Great, same for me.
And for the gentleman? I'll have the Thai chicken pizza.
But if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff is it cheaper? You'd think, wouldn't you? I will have the side salad.
And what would that be on the side of? I don't know.
Just put it right here next to my water.
And for you? I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup and take care.
I will have the Cajun catfish.
Anything else? Yes, how about a verse of "Killing Me Softly"? You're gonna sneeze in my fish, aren't you? Plus tip, divided by six.
Everyone owes 28 bucks.
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