- You close with your family?
- We get on with it.
I have this amazing
new partner out there.
He's really pushed the company forward.
She's commuting from Finland.
- Any friends?
- Sorry?
- Does your little cafe do canapes?
- Yeah, it totally could.
And I will hire you to do the canapes.
Just a girl with no friends and an
empty heart?
- By your own description.
- I have friends.
Oh, have you got to go back to
Finland again?
- No, Finland are coming here.
- Oh! That's easier for you.
Sex didn't bring anything good.
And what have you found in your
abstinence?
Oh, God, I fancy a priest.
Thank you so much for helping.
Father, we have a cupcake
situation over here!
- Okay, Pam!
- Arm touch.
- I'm sorry for your loss.
- What?
Your baby.
Does Martin know?
You're not supposed to tell anyone
for the first twelve
You can tell the father.
- Yes, Father?
- Come on, have a read.
And if you ever want to talk about
stuff, I'm here, you know.
You can come whenever you want.
I'd like you to come.
If it helps.
[HOLY MUSIC]
[SHE GASPS]
Just don't
talk too much or try to pretend
you know anything about the company.
- Okay.
- And don't be funny or clever or
Just don't be the centre of attention.
These people are very important to
me, so just don't
- Okay.
- don't be yourself.
I won't.
- [FLEABAG BREAKS WIND]
- For fuck's sake!
I know people in this building,
anyone could come
[LIFT PINGS]
- Hi, Claire.
- Hello, Leslie.
[LESLIE SNIFFS]
Oh, that's lovely.
What is that?
We have a load of vegetarians,
so make sure it's clear which ones
have meat in them.
Loves a crisis.
We have a couple of waitresses
for the drinks,
so if you could hand round the food
Put her in a quiet room with a nice
breeze, she'll have a panic attack.
- Where is everyone?
- She's so happy.
God, this is stressful.
Don't be weird about how
big my office is.
What the fuck?
- I know.
- Are you a?
It's over the top, I know.
Okay.
Put them on the table.
Not that table.
- Ooh.
You okay?
- Of course.
It's just that it's a big night and
the Finnish partners
are here, so it's all a bit
- Oh, check the award.
- Why?
Just to make sure it's not pink or
anything horrifically female.
She'll loathe that.
Be careful with it.
It's worth thousands.
- It's not pink.
- Good.
It's perfect.
It looks like a sperm.
- Your hair looks nice.
- Shut up.
Okay.
Don't sit on that!
Okay, put those on the posh plates.
Put the award behind the microphone.
Oh, and, um
thank you.
You've really, uh
Thank you.
Don't play with that.
Oh, that's heavy.
Argh!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck
God
[BELL TOLLS]
[SHE GASPS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Excuse me, excuse me
[SHE SIGHS]
Where have you been?
Sorry, I had to get
the vegetarian bites.
But it's all fine.
You're going to love them.
You're sweating so much.
- Sorry.
- It's attention grabbing.
It's only on one side.
Um, sorry, this is Sylvia.
She's going to be presenting
the award, so
when you hear me introduce her,
get on the stage.
- Hi.
- Has this got shellfish in it?
- No.
- Fine.
Four CEOs have been fired.
Two are being taken to court.
I mean, it's just sad.
We felt like a family.
Yeah.
Especially sad when you have
to tell your family not to
touch each other up by the photocopier.
[THEY LAUGH]
- Stop making jokes.
- I'm sorry, I can't help it.
Well, you can.
Oh, Belinda's coming.
Don't speak to Belinda.
- Hello, Claire.
- Hello, Belinda.
- God, you're tasteful.
- Mmm.
Oh, are these meaty?
Say something.
No, I think they have courgette in them.
Oh, I love courgette.
You can treat them appallingly
and they still grow.
- She seems lovely.
- Yeah, she's great.
- So, who are you so nervous about?
- I'm not nervous.
I'm being completely
Claire!
Oh! Hi!
Oh! God, sorry.
I'm so glad you could come.
Of course.
It's my job.
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